I am a distance carer and mum has private carers going into see her 4 times a day. When mum gets distressed or confused its still me she turns to and calls me up, its like she has my telephone no on her own personal speed dial. I have recently been diagnosed with high blood pressure and I'm sure its all down to mum. Dad died of dementia 2 years ago and now we have to deal with mum with no break in between. I have just come back from a holiday abroad and while I was away mum filled up my answer phone on my phone and 1571 as well ! with a group of messages over midnight asking why I wasn't talking to her. My first day at home it felt like she was calling me every 5 mins while the carers weren't there. Has anybody any body any suggestions how to ease the stress of it all as my blood pressure is not going to stand it. It still hasn't gone down after a holiday and medication. How do people cope? Mum doesn't like being by herself but nor dose she want to go in a home as she has seen what it is like when dad was in one. I wish there was a solution for all of it. Mum's lung cancer has got worse but in a lot of ways I wish it had so there would be I end to it all, a way out.