Help mother in law has vascular dementia

Taximother

Registered User
Feb 22, 2013
2
0
Just been told MRI for mother in law is vascular dementia
Hi everyone just found this site and been reading all about you lovely angels who are caring for your loved ones. My story so far is ... We have been caring for our mother for about 4/5 yrs as she needed a new hip going back and forth to her house but 5 months ago she was rushed to hospital ( by the way she's 90 in a week) they took me to one side saying she was malnutrition eventually we worked out she was throwing her food away that we thought she was eating. So we decided to care for her until she was well enough to go home. But we noticed things weren't quite right incontinence was an issue hiding wet clothes ect and constantly repeating unusual things ,getting very angry with me when I helped her .my doctor sent her for a MRI scan . She is now in denial as she thought she could return home and got very angry with me today as I tried to explain to her the results.... HELP...she has a terrible short term memory lose so shall I stop trying to explain things to her ? I've read lots of your blogs before writing this. We now need to convert our garage into a room for her and she is well loved by us but I need support from others so I know what to expect. You r all doing a marvellous job caring for your loved ones , I'm just feeling a bit overwhelmed !
 

PeggySmith

Registered User
Apr 16, 2012
1,687
0
BANES
Hi Taximother,

Just noticed your post has been slipping without a reply so thought I'd say hello. I'm not quite in the same place as you. My MIL is currently in hospital following a small stroke and isn't walking at all any more and needs support to move from bed to chair etc so I'm having to come to terms with the dreaded care home which, although I know she'll be very happy if we can find the right one, is making me feel like I've let her down.

As far as explaining stuff - it's difficult as your MIL clearly isn't taking new information on board. If you go back through all the posts, there's loads of advice about "white lies". Currently, for example, we're telling MIL that the hospital staff are in charge of where she goes so she doesn't blame us. We've already had one bout of "You want to get rid of me and put me in one of those places.":eek:

For what it's worth, my experience is that we need to keep everything as simple as possible and not disrupt MIL's routine at all. Ever. As long as she stays calm, we can cope. (Just about).:)
 

Christin

Registered User
Jun 29, 2009
5,038
0
Somerset
Hello Taximother, welcome to Talking Point. I hope you will find a lot of help and support here.

I do agree with post above, we found keeping to a routine, as much as possible, helped.

There are also a great number of fact sheets which can be found here

Can I suggest you start with this one Community Care Assessments. Please note you are entitled to an assessment for your own needs as a carer.

Very best wishes to you all. X