Help me!!

tassie devil

Registered User
Aug 15, 2006
My Mum has recently been forgetting to take her pills on a regular basis, she seems to have lost track of all time. She does live on her own and Social Services have said she's fine and they want to keep her in her own environment as long as possible. I do my best by having at my house for dinner and popping in to see her. My brother pops in once a week.

The Social worker went in last week and noticed Mum had some food in her fridge that had gone off. Mum refused to throw it out!

I have just received an email from my sister (she moved to Ireland) who has been in contact with the social worker. Apparently the SW is going back in on Thursday to tell Mum that someone will be popping in every day to check she's taken her tablets and to check the fridge, if she doesn't agree then she can have her animals taken away!

I went to see my Mum last night who said if she didn't have her dogs she would have killed herself as she's bored of the same old thing and knows she can't remember things.

I'm so upset with the SW and my sister - is this just the norm? The SW has said she's never met a alzheimer's patient as stubborn as Mum! :(


Registered User
Jun 27, 2006
Then I'm guessing that she's never met another Alzheimer patient then!

I'm not surprised you're cross. I mean we've all (probably) stretched the truth when it comes to managing our loved ones but to threaten her with something like this as a professional seems beyond the pale. As far as I'm aware, there is no power that would allow a social worker to remove your mother's animals (although I suppose the RSPCA could if they weren't being cared for), but if your mother is anything like mine was, the rest of the world could go hang before she gave up her pets. I suppose a charitable interpretation could be made that this social worker was just trying to frighten her into accepting what has to be accepted, but frankly, I don't think that's her place.

In your position i would contact the social worker directly - it is possible that rather than this being the threat that it seems it was mentioned along the lines of "if something happened to you then your pets would be without a home".

tassie devil

Registered User
Aug 15, 2006
In your position i would contact the social worker directly - it is possible that rather than this being the threat that it seems it was mentioned along the lines of "if something happened to you then your pets would be without a home".

This seems a kinder and more logical thing - apparently it is being said for shock/last resort - I still don't feel comfortable with it. This approach is much kinder. I feel I really want to defend my Mum as these people don't know her the way she was, I know her better than any of my other siblings. On the flip side they should know how to deal with someone in her position as they've been there/done that. I'm so confused.


Registered User
Jul 2, 2006
Newport, Gwent
I would not be a happy bunny if someone threatened my mum like this, however well meaning, in fact, I would go so far as to say it’s outrageous. How dare this person put this kind of fear on your mum. Of course her pets are her companions, and obviously mean the world to her.

I would agree, I would contact the SW directly, I would suggest telling her that it is not her place to ‘blackmail’ your mum into taking her tablets. Mum is not a wilful child, and although she has AD, she still deserves respect, and the fact that she has forgotten to take her meds isn’t punishable by removing her companions.

What your mum does need is carers going in every day, however many times a day your mum takes medication, and simply reminding her to take it. If mum refuses (and I have been down this road myself), sadly there is nothing you, or the SW can do about it. However, you may find, what she refused to do today, may change next week.

Hope you can get this sorted out, its clearly a worry for you.




Registered User
Sep 29, 2007
Has your mum got a nomad tray for her medication? This really helped my mam as each day's drugs are clearly labelled. Of course, that's no help if she doesn't know what day it is! If however, she knows the day, a phone call may help to prompt her. It's a difficult situation isn't it. The SW probably has your mum's interests at heart as she doesn't want her to eat gone food or miss her medications. But SW have a knack of sometimes being insensitive......


Registered User
Jul 6, 2007
leigh lancashire
Hi Tassiedevil,This a tricky one.At the end of the day no-one can make your mum do anything she doesn't want to.Be it yourself,carers or S/W.Think otherwise. top and bottom of it all lies with the recipient of care.If they don't see a need for "help
then the right lies with them unless proven otherwise.It's a shady topic to say the elainex


Registered User
Jul 10, 2006
south lanarkshire
Hi Tassiedevil

My Mum never saw the need for carers. (Still doesn't, although in a care home) "There was nothing wrong with her! She didn't need any medication! She had never even had one, heart attack, never mind two! and so on.

We introduced carers as friends and in the beginning we went with them, until eventually, little by little, the carer was allowed (by Mum) to make a cup of tea and toast and administer medication.

I think it is a matter of little steps at a time.

Good Luck


Registered User
Apr 15, 2007
Hello, when my MIL was in the hospital with pneumonia the geriatrician in his wisdom without even consulting my hubby or myself told my MIL he was going to find her a new home to live and she said; I already have a nice home and I look after my cat she is my friend, he said; I'll find her another home also. This was a geriatrician, my MIL was devastated she had not long lost her husband of 55 years which he was well aware off. My MIL had dementia, luckily the Guardianship Board seen things our way( with a few little restrictions) and MIL stayed at home with her cat. With home help, which MIL was reluctant to accept, we did as Alfjess suggested, and MIL came around and even looked forward to the carers. I hope that all works out for you. Regards Taffy.