1. gill@anchorage5

    gill@anchorage5 Registered User

    Apr 29, 2007
    211
    Southampton
    Hi everyone

    Had a couple of good days with Dad (currently in Assessment Unit) - his plaster cast came off yesterday (he had been thigh to ankle in plaster for 8 weeks due to fractured knee) so the last couple of days seemed fairly positive. He even walked quite a few steps with the frame yesterday under the guidance of the Physio and appeared to be making good progress.

    Today was a different story entirely. Visited him with Mum this afternoon and he was in a deep, deep sleep, we just couldn't rouse him & didn't open his eyes all the time we were there.

    I visited again this evening (handy that the unit is quite near to where I live) and he was in a dreadful state! Staff had to use the hoist to get him into the wheelchair for supper - he was very agitated & wouldn't eat anything or co-operate at all. They had to use the hoist again to get him on his bed when I was there & he was so distressed. It must be an awful sensation to be lifted in one of those things - but they had no other option to move him as he would not co-operate at all.

    All he kept saying to me over and over again was "help me - please help me". I felt so inadequate - all I could do was cuddle him & try to reassure him as he couldn't express what was wrong. This went on for nearly two hours....I was so glad that Mum wasn't with me to see him in such distress. Staff described this as a "panic attack" - but I suspect that he has another urine infection - as the "help me, help me" routine fits with the last time that he had one. They have done a "dip test" which showed problems & will do another one tomorrow morning to send off to the lab.

    Suddenly out of nowhere he "came to" - opened his eyes and held a normal conversation with me. It was as though someone had "switched the light on" after 2 1/2 hours of being totally incoherant. He co-operated fully with the staff to get off the bed using his frame & into a wheelchair, so I was able to leave him sitting in the day room - watching TV, reading his paper, drinking his carton of Ribena & eating his biscuits!

    Would be interested to hear if anyone else has experienced this "help me - please help me" cries, how they coped & whether it was due to an infection.

    It's so nice to be able to share the good times & the bad times with others who understand.

    A bad day today - let's hope for a better one tomorrow.....

    Gill x
     
  2. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,649
    Kent
    Dear Gill,

    I haven`t had this type of experience in terms of physical incapacity, but are you sure it was physical.

    My husband regularly has, what I describe as lapses, when he is frightened, asks for help and complains about unexplainable feelings in his head. These feeling make him afraid he is going mad, losing all control, and he often asks what is happening to his brain.

    This is when I think about the amyloid deposits, and tangles that are supposed to affect the brains of those with Alzheimers.

    These lapses last between 1-3 hours, and when he recovers, I can see the difference in his face and his eyes, and know he has come through it.

    Do you think it could have been anything similar with your dad?

    Love xx
     
  3. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    Sorry to read how distressed your father became

    My mother has had a urine infection, but has never said that .

    only time was when she was scared when she had a fall and the ambulance had to lay her on flat board , get it underneath her put something around her neck to keep her neck still , then life her up with the board on to a trolly then lift her into the ambulance . she did scream help me margarita help me . don't leave me.
     
  4. LisaE

    LisaE Registered User

    Jul 2, 2007
    5
    Lapses

    My mum seems to have lapses. One minute she is totally in control talking sensibly having a proper conversation, understanding what is being said. Then can be 10 minutes later re-asking the same questions over and over, in a pattern, contradicting everything she had said before, accusing and irrational - a completely different woman. What are these? Why do they happen?

    Mum is 72 - I read early of a lady of 90. Will she really suffer this and worse for 18Years???

    Lisa x
     
  5. LisaE

    LisaE Registered User

    Jul 2, 2007
    5
    ... are they food related.

    follow on from above... are these lapses food related?

    Lx
     
  6. gill@anchorage5

    gill@anchorage5 Registered User

    Apr 29, 2007
    211
    Southampton
    Thanks Sylvia & Margarita for your swift replies & moral support which is SO important & SO much valued.

    I guess that Dad's condition could be a combination of a lot of things - infection &/ or fear/anxiety - when I asked him if he was in pain he said no, but obviously something was "very wrong" with him earlier this evening. He was visibly shaking and making noises like a wounded animal as though he was in great pain. I asked him if he was worried and he said he was. I asked him if he was frightened and he said "a little bit". He sometimes finds it so hard to express himself these days - particularly if he is in "a bit of a state".

    Isn't it awful when you see someone you love suffering so much? I just want to do everything I can to help him and feel so helpless when I can't make the pain go away.

    Anyway - I have to dwell on the positives - he seemed happy when I left him - which is a great relief & he had that lovely smile on his face (even gave me a "thumbs up" as I went out of the door!)

    I'm now back home (wondering how he is now of course and whether he has now settled for the night.) Have had a good cry (very therapeutic) and two very large glasses of red wine (even more therapeutic!) Hoping for a better day tomorrow...

    Thank you for being there.

    Gill x
     
  7. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,649
    Kent
    Hi Lisa,

    `Lapses` is my term for these happenings, I have no idea if there is a proper medical term for them.

    I don`t even know if I`m right in thinking as I do, as I have no medical knowledge, but I put these lapses down to the deposit of Ameloid in the brain.


    http://www.ahaf.org/alzdis/about/AmyloidPlaques.htm
     
  8. jeanierec

    jeanierec Registered User

    May 7, 2007
    121
    north yorkshire
    Hi Gill

    Thankyou so much for the birthday message.

    I`m so sorry you`re having a hard time , i`m sure if you could you would take your dads pain and anxiety from him sadly thats not possible so in the meantime on with the red wine....it may not be the answer but it sure helps !!

    Love Jeanie ( a fellow red winer ) x x
     
  9. alex

    alex Registered User

    Apr 10, 2006
    1,665
    Hi Gill

    Haven't really got anything to add to whats already been said...........just wanted to say that i hope you have a better day tomorrow.

    Love Alex x
     
  10. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    #10 Margarita, Jul 5, 2007
    Last edited: Jul 5, 2007
    I must say I do see that happen with my mother the conversation can flow between us , that I use to have to take a double think and shake myself because I use to think mum was OK back to her normal self .

    I could not understand it , but as time went on I released its all to do with what is happen in mum brain like Sylvia says about
    now being truthful all it take now is any little thing , even traveling in a car , cutting her nails she just shouts for help

    water getting into her eyes when having a shower , she crying out for my help that in bathroom when caring is bathing her got water in to her eyes , that if I had not seen it with my own eyes , I would of thought carer was being cruel to her .

    She now wants me in bath room with carer and I can see that carer is not hurting her water is warm & mum saying help water is to hot and its not , a drip and I mean a drip of water on her face from shower she screaming that she never going to have a bath , Save me save she telling me .

    I think she lost the sensation of knowing what is hot or cold . Or even if she has any pain, even if she does feel pain , she gets in to such a panic that she does not know where its coming from

    She gets in such a panic that she seem traumatizes for a while , then all of sudden she OK . I find the more crammer I am when she react like that the less panic she feels comes out of it sooner .

    More so now days when getting back from day center looking traumatizes from being in bus , then she lay down on bed look like she Gone , then hour later she back to normal , chatting asking what for dinner
     
  11. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,649
    Kent
    Lisa, I have tried to find a reason but have failed miserably.

    I have tried to relate them to mealtimes, before and after, and medication, before and after.

    The only constant, is they happen mainly during late afternoon/early evening. They relate to `sundowning` but don`t include wanting to `go home`.
     
  12. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Hi Gill. Glad you got that smile and thumbs-up. It must have made you feel so much better.

    I hope you have a good day today.

    Love,
     
  13. gill@anchorage5

    gill@anchorage5 Registered User

    Apr 29, 2007
    211
    Southampton
    A much better day...

    Thanks to all for your kind messages & concern - yesterday was a difficult day.

    Pleased to advise that dad was on good form when we visited this afternoon - what a difference 24 hours can make.

    Of course there will be "ups & downs" and I'm sure I speak for many on here - when I say I wish we could freeze the moment in time today - as it was so lovely to see Dad bright, alert & cheerful.

    As always we will just have to take each day as it comes......

    Really appreciated the support.

    Gill x
     
  14. Kathleen

    Kathleen Registered User

    Mar 12, 2005
    639
    West Sussex
    I am so pleased that yesterday was a good day and yes, it would be wonderful to freeze those moments in time, just keep hold of that memory. At least he will have forgotten it.

    Long may your Dad stay happy.

    Kathleen
    x
     
  15. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    #15 Margarita, Jul 6, 2007
    Last edited: Jul 6, 2007
    Sure would do I had one of those
    moment with mum yesterday evening , that can make me want to cry afterwards lie today , but sharing it with all you all make me :)

    because you all understand , hard to explain but its real I never really believe that those thing can happen when they so down like I have lost mum to AZ then she so up bright, alert & cheerful .

    PS thanks all for sharing it really help xx
     
  16. Margaret W

    Margaret W Registered User

    Apr 28, 2007
    3,725
    North Derbyshire
    My lack of experience

    Hi, glad things got better for you. I have not a clue how to advise as to why he was so upset and crying for help. How distressing for you. I wouldn't have known how to react, but obviously whatever you did worked.

    I remember my mother in law, many years ago (25? I was pregnant with my youngest daughter), lying in bed for no apparent reason and crying "I can't stand it, I want to die, I just want to die". It was horrid to witness, and only lasted a few hours, and despite the doctor visiting and her being admitted to hospital, no-one ever found a cause.

    I hope things improve.

    I am going to make a mental note to read all the threads on this site, cos someday I might be in the same position and knowing how someone else coped will be so helpful.

    Love to you

    Margaret
     

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