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Help managing my mum

Susannah51

New member
Nov 29, 2020
2
0
Hello, I’m new to this so near with me and have my mum who is 81 living with me since June after loosing my Dad. Mum has Alzheimer’s and some days just refuses to get out of bed to wash or eat she is fully mobile but likes to be in bed all the while. I don’t know what the best thing to do when this happens and I find it really frustrating and I have to admit to having feelings of anger which I then feel really guilty about can anyone give any advice please
 

Jessbow

Registered User
Mar 1, 2013
3,265
0
West Hertfordshire
What happens if you simply shrug and say ''Okay''?

if you just say ''Okay'' for a day or two, take meals on a tray, and then try & progress into some sort of routine after a couple of days.
 

Louise7

Registered User
Mar 25, 2016
2,715
0
Hello @Susannah51 and welcome to the forum, you'll find this a supportive group. As your mum has recently lost her husband (and her home?) I'm wondering if she has depression as this is quite common in those with dementia. Have you spoken to your mum's GP about the problem? When my mum had a low mood the GP prescribed a low dose of antidepressants for a short while and it helped, so it may be worth having a chat with the GP to see what they suggest. You may find this factsheet useful too as it contains some techniques for dealing with possible apathy/depression: https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/about...nosis/apathy-depression-anxiety#content-start
 

Susannah51

New member
Nov 29, 2020
2
0
Thanks Louise we have the mental health team in and have increased her antidepressants. What I’m finding really hard is her mood seems fine she just refuses to get up sometimes to wash and eat she will say she feels sick and cannot come downstairs but if you take her food up she says it’s lovely and eats it all. It’s like she is choosing to be awkward, I know it’s the condition but I am being told by our specialist nurse we must make her get out of bed, I feel if I don’t try I’m just leaving her to get physically worst. It’s so hard I’m constantly worried and torn as to what to do and struggling with all of the different emotions suppose there’s no easy answer
 

lemonbalm

Registered User
May 21, 2018
1,089
0
Hello @Susannah51 . If your mum is happy staying in bed some days, I wonder if it really matters. The risk is that she will lose a bit of mobility if it's every day. I agree that it's a good idea to consult her doctor and see if there is something to help with her mood if she is depressed. Otherwise, a day in bed every so often is possibly good for her?
 

lemonbalm

Registered User
May 21, 2018
1,089
0
Sorry, we posted at the same time @Susannah51 . Whatever the nurse say,s you can't force your mum to get out of bed! Hopefully she'll get up when she feels ready.