My husband has vascular dementia also terminal bladder cancer. His dementia is not too bad at the moment having a few good days. I have not walked for three years and am bound to wheelchair or scooter. With the current lockdown I am trying to look after him . I am frightened wondering what is going to happen, will I be able to cope. He does get aggressive with me thinks Im talking about him Main thing to cope with is the loneliness. Our children are very good and we speak on the phone, they do me some shopping and leave it outside but I am frightened of his dementia, his cancer and this Covid 19. Any advice trying to live through these difficult days .
Help in this crazy time
- Thread starter Susan746
- Start date
Dementia, cancer and corvid - oh boy!
The first thing I want to say is that it is very important that you keep safe. You are a vulnerable person in your own right, so if you become afraid that his aggression might spiral into violence you must summon help - please do not hesitate to dial 999, they are well used to dealing with this sort of thing.
Contact the GP, memory clinic or Community Health Team (whichever you have access to) to report the aggression as there is medication that can calm it down.
Something that might help when speaking to your husband is to avoid the word "no" - it was like a red rag to a bull, so I was advised to instead say "yes" and then whatever I needed to say (even if I was actually saying no). Try deferring any demands (yes, perhaps we can do that tomorrow/next week/whenever) and/or distracting him with something that he likes. You may also find this thread helpful.
forum.alzheimers.org.uk
The first thing I want to say is that it is very important that you keep safe. You are a vulnerable person in your own right, so if you become afraid that his aggression might spiral into violence you must summon help - please do not hesitate to dial 999, they are well used to dealing with this sort of thing.
Contact the GP, memory clinic or Community Health Team (whichever you have access to) to report the aggression as there is medication that can calm it down.
Something that might help when speaking to your husband is to avoid the word "no" - it was like a red rag to a bull, so I was advised to instead say "yes" and then whatever I needed to say (even if I was actually saying no). Try deferring any demands (yes, perhaps we can do that tomorrow/next week/whenever) and/or distracting him with something that he likes. You may also find this thread helpful.
Compassionate Communication with the Memory Impaired
The following piece was posted a while ago on DSF and made a big impression on me. It is something I have referred to time after time and tried hard to follow. We have many new members who may not have seen it before. Yesterday I posted it on another Thread but thought it might be helpful if...
forum.alzheimers.org.uk
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