Hello I am new to the forum. Firstly just to say how useful I have found many of the recent posts I have been reading about how to sort out finances and what to do about possessions etc. Great comfort in reading all the advice thanks so much already.... Right, Dad was diagnosed four months ago with vascular and Alzheimer's. I'd known for a long time but it took ages to get memory team to test him. He was managing fine at home, so far so good then bang, he had a bad fall 1st September. It took nine days before I heard (hospital failed to notify me and we were abroad). We got back asap and visited and he looked so frail. I'm heading down again Wednesday. He is in hospital being well cared for and headed for a community hospital when a bed is free. But the way he looks he has gone from living independently to being unable to cope at all and there is no way I can see him getting back home. He has been desperate to stay at home. My concerns are: (so many) Power of Attorney - he has stubbornly refused all this time. Ironically he was due to meet with solicitor as he finally was coming round to it - but he had the fall two days before. I am pursing this and hope to get this even with him in hospital. I've been trying for two years but dad thinks it is a con. (I know better). I've tried all sorts of reasoning. I think he agrees now but so scared it is too late.... How to manage finances when I have no power and need to help sort his household bills - great stuff on the forum here to help me about third party banking and online banking so I will progress that thank you all. How on earth do you choose a care home? Could dad come up closer to me 'up north' or is it true you lose all your funding - I think he will be self funding anyway as he has own house with small mortgage (bless him - £43k mortgage because he paid for his own mum's care home 25 years ago and got sold a pension linked mortgage) The whole how to sort out the house/insurance/possessions thing once we get there - we moved in with three removal vans when I was 18 and dad has done nothing but add clobber for thirty years - but hey thanks all your other posts have given me loads of advice and I've made notes. I wasn't sure if I was able to take away a few sentimental things or if everything had to be valued but the info you have all posted is good. Costs - this might sound selfish, and really it isn't but I have to worry about my own budget. 200 miles each way and the relevant time off work is going to cost. Myself and my partner were both made redundant last year and because I was going through breast cancer chemo at the time I only managed to pick up zero hours contract work on minimum wage. We went from £50k income to about £10k overnight! So I have to worry about how to fund things. I am totally up for helping with being power of attorney and ensuring dad gets all the care and support he needs, but does the state expect the carer to be out of pocket or is there a way I can claim back my costs. If the state will take everything from the estate for dad, I'd just like to not have to take out a bank loan to be the administrator of that! Personal impact - I am totally up for sorting out everything, I can see how sad and emotional it will be but I will cope, but is there any support for someone like me who is also a little bit 'vulnerable' as I still plough through my cancer treatment and recovery. Sorry, that sounded like it was all about me - it isn't - it is all about BOTH me and Dad! I do have a lovely partner by the way so I will have physical help.