Help....I feel distraught

esmeralda

Registered User
Nov 27, 2014
3,083
0
Devon
I'm glad you are feeling a bit better Bebe. The acceptance of this dreadful diagnosisis a very difficult thing. Affter all it has huge repercussions for both your futures and it would be very strange if you didn't feel frightened, angry and heartbroken,and at the same time having to cope with your husband's changes in behaviour. That's a big ask for anyone. Somehow we manage to find a way through it but it isn't easy. I'm so glad you have been able to speak to friends. Most people are actually very kind but often don't have any understanding, and need to have the situation explained. Then again there are so many people with dementia now , they may have a family member who has the disease. I hope you can find the help and strength you need, some of it perhaps on this forum.
Love, Es
xxx
 

LadyA

Registered User
Oct 19, 2009
13,730
0
Ireland
Most people are actually very kind but often don't have any understanding, and need to have the situation explained. Then again there are so many people with dementia now , they may have a family member who has the disease. I hope you can find the help and strength you need, some of it perhaps on this forum.
Love, Es
xxx
I remember one of William's daughters being reduced to tears by the kindness of strangers - shop assistants in particular - when she visited some years ago. At that stage, William would engage complete strangers in town in conversation, and go on and on and on and on, telling them all about his family history and ancestors!:D His daughter was amazed at how gentle and kind people here were with him, not only not being abrupt and rude to him - but engaging in the conversation as if it was all perfectly normal, and they had all the time in the world.
 

Loopiloo

Registered User
May 10, 2010
6,117
0
Scotland
Good to hear you are feeling better, Bebe. It is a very hard road to travel as many of us here know, and understand.

I also found people were kind when Henry was out in our small town, and never ever unpleasant to him. (Nor he to them although he was verbally aggressive towards me) They had known him for many years, he was well liked. If there was a small problem in certain shops, such as him losing his note written by me, they would phone me and it was quickly sorted out.

He was out every day, although with passing time and progression of dementia the note with where to go, what to do, became shorter and shorter, and it took him longer and longer! Sometimes I’d set off, worried, to look for him and there he would be just coming round the corner. He insisted on his usual routine, and I tried, with adaptions, to comply and keep his life as normal as could be.

He never ever forgot the way home.

Wishing you better days and some peace of mind.

Loo x
 

Bebe100

Registered User
Jan 29, 2015
6
0
Thank you all

The last few days have been so much better. It's amazing what a good night's sleep can do. I am calmer and more accepting of the situation which makes the atmosphere so much better. I will have to learn to just calmly agree with pretty much everything even when I know it is complete rubbish. But still, it is the illness not the person. Once again, thank thank you all for such comforting support. I have a feeling I'm going to need it in the future.
 

LadyA

Registered User
Oct 19, 2009
13,730
0
Ireland
The last few days have been so much better. It's amazing what a good night's sleep can do. I am calmer and more accepting of the situation which makes the atmosphere so much better. I will have to learn to just calmly agree with pretty much everything even when I know it is complete rubbish. But still, it is the illness not the person. Once again, thank thank you all for such comforting support. I have a feeling I'm going to need it in the future.

I'm afraid that's just about one of the first things we have to learn about Dementia. The person is not being contrary or bloody-minded - they are as sure that they are right as we are. But I suspect that deep down, there is a tiny terror in them - "What if I am not? What does that mean? And if I am wrong about this - what else do I not know, and why?" - I'm sure that slight uncertainty about things in the early stages must be terrifying. And attack, they say, is a good form of defence. If we think about the occasional times that we have forgotten things we should know, or done something absent-minded and how we felt - and imagine how we would feel if we had the sense that this was becoming an everyday and increasing occurrance.
 

LadyA

Registered User
Oct 19, 2009
13,730
0
Ireland
Wise words, LadyA.

Sent from my GT-N5110

Ah, Verity - but remember when I was under so much stress, around the time William went to the nursing home? And I locked my keys in my car twice in less than a month? I know how scary that was - I was so frightened that it wasn't just the stress. That it would be come a pattern, and I'd start forgetting other things. And I remember being too scared to tell anyone that I was scared and why.
 

Staff online

Forum statistics

Threads
138,137
Messages
1,993,258
Members
89,790
Latest member
Jliesman