Hi all, am new on here and looking for some advice/support on how to deal with my 84 year old Mum....she is currently being assessed and has had a CT scan recently to determine either Alzheimer's or vascular dementia (apparently they require different medication). She scored 21/30 last December on the standard mental health test and 17/30 this August, so there's been some deterioration and she is now in the 'middle range'. I understand that below 12 is 'severe'. I get the memory loss/time distortion bit and it must be very disorienting to have that, but Mum seems to be so angry/judgemental/critical with almost everyone that she is becoming isolated and lonely. She has now upset so many people that she has almost no-one in her life and to be quite frank, it isn't pleasant to spend time with her anymore, so I can't blame people for avoiding her. She will wait for someone to park near to her house (perfectly legal to do that) and she's straight out causing a scene. She will be openly critical of others on the warden-controlled complex she lives on, so they steer clear. She won't attend any of the social events because she doesn't like the people. In fact she's turned into a grumpy old lady and I'm struggling with it. Many years ago she fell out, on separate occasions, with both of my brothers (she criticised their wives and caused arguments so this trait is nothing new). They have tried many times to visit/call but she won't let them, so it's just me now. Things have now come to a head when I invited her to lunch last Sunday (like I do every week) and she said she wasn't going to come if my Son in Law was there because he hadn't thanked her for his birthday card. I tried to say that he'd simply forgotten but she was adamant he was 'slighting' her and said she'd never come round when he was there again (he's a lovely guy by the way)! She then started to criticise my daughter too, at which point I got cross at her (I know I shouldn't have) and said that I wasn't prepared to listen to her and if she changed her mind about Sunday she could ring. She then said she'd come but she wouldn't speak to him so I told her that I wasn't prepared to have that going on in my home. I also asked her to consider Christmas (because we usually all spend it together) before she started causing more family problems. She didn't call on the Sunday so I went round and she wouldn't let me in, and shouted at me through the front door to go away. I've phoned 5 times since and she won't answer the phone. I've left some home made soup on her front step and have checked with the warden that she's ok. So what do I do now? Am torn between leaving her alone for a few days to cool down (and keep checking that she's ok) or persevere with trying to contact her, but am loathe to keep getting the cold shoulder. I'm actually really cross at her and I need to cool down too, I keep trying to tell myself that she can't help it, but sometimes I think she knows what she's doing, she seems manipulative to me and is putting me in an impossible position! Am so sorry for the long rant, I just don't know where to go from here!