So glad to see these posts as I too am struggling with anxiety and guilt over my need for respite. I already have support both from day care twice a week, and a carer 7 hours a week arranged to suit me. Also my lovely step daughter is coming to stay for a weekendand I will get a 48 hr break soon. And I really appreciate all that as I know many TPers don't get that level of help.
But it is not enough to keep me going when I am having bad nights. I feel a bit down as I have tried hard to solve the practical problems that were making nights so bad, and things had improved... but this last fortnight it feels are if things are changing for the worse again, his whole sleep pattern has altered. He is sleeping much less at night and is up every hour or so, he has also stopped resting very much during the day. We are seeing his GP next week after a blood test result comes back so I can check physical causes with her.
I don't know whether it is better to book him in somewhere for a short stay as an introduction or to go for a week straight off? And whether I should visit while he is there, or tell him I will be away. What have others found has worked best for them?