I first joined the AS forum last year following diagnosis of my 91yr old mum with vascular dementia. We suspected this some 18months previously. Now it has been changed to mixed dementia. Caring has been difficult as mum always was a very strong, opinionated person who liked to be in control, and is now showing as aggression towards myself, and my brother who Shares the caring with me. She has reached the stage where most of her belongings are 'not mine, their like mine, but they have been swapped by them' , we think she means us. This is now happening with her own furniture. We think she is probably now at around stage 5, but she still thinks she's fine and nothing wrong with her? We are almost on our knees, and at the end of our tether,. Last month we actually got her into an extra care sheltered housing very close to where she lives, we had to stay with her 24hrs a day as she created so much, shouting and screaming 'this is not my home, what have you done to my home' on and on constantly, totally refused any carer input and so out of sheer exhaustion moved her back home. Once home, why have you brought me back!! We had an emergency assessment, the outcome being she does not have the capacity to understand her own care/home needs. We feel the only choice left is a care home, but As Mum is classed as a self funder, we have been given a list of care homes and told to sort it out ourselves, but we know it's going to be the same reaction as the ECSH, we just don't know what to do for the best. Any advice gratefully received.