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Help for my mum


Registered User
Mar 5, 2012
My father was diagnosed 2 years ago. He still lives at home with my mum they are both in their 80's. My father dresses himself but no longer washes. I manage to do this approximately 3 times a week if he allows me to. I am a nurse and he is more accommodating in a wear my uniform during this process. The memory service keep telling my mum that my dad is 'not as bad as others' because he can do functional tasks but this makes her feel inadequate when she finds his constant questioning very hard work.
My mum copes very well but her main issue is his constant questioning in the evening when she is trying to wind down in the evening . I have been looking for a befriending service in my area but have had no luck. He is very reoccupied with photographs and constantly wants to know who is in the pictures, he recognises immediate family only. I was thinking of purchasing a talking picture album? I believe you can record on each page who the picture is. Anybody have any other ideas


Registered User
Mar 24, 2012
Hello toefinder and welcome to talking point my husband repeats himself all the time , I asked the social worker for a list of agencies to help me in the house and some of them do befriending or help with the house work and watches the dementia sufferer while the carer goes out for a hour, i should think they will be in all areas, could you ask social services if you could send you a list as they are all police checked and verified, this might help even if it is only for a hour occasionally,

Best Wishes Jeany x

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
Hello toefinder

It sounds as if your father is sundowning when he is restless and demanding in the early evening. It won`t help your mother because there is little in the way of distraction , but at least she will know it is a common symptom.


If you scroll down the factsheet on the link above you will find

Sleeplessness and 'sundowning'

As for the washing problem, I used to take a face cloth wrung out in hot water into my husband even when he was relaxing in the living room and give it to him to `freshen yourself up `. It wasn`t ideal but was better than nothing. perhaps your mother could try this in between times.