Help for dad

[Tillymint49]

Hi everyone, this is my first post and I'm really hoping you lovely people can help...
Dad has convinced himself that mum is having an affair with a neighbour! This has been going on for months now. He's is so convinced now that during the night he told her he had seen this man leaving the night before and he wants a divorce. My brother has tried talking to him about this on several occasions but to no avail. Any advice on how i can help would be very much appreciated as mum is almost at breaking point. Thanks.

 

[nellbelles]

Hi @Tillymint49 welcome to TP.
What a difficult situation for your parents
Maybe it’s time for their GP or CPN to be involved, the situation obviously seems real to your dad maybe they could prescribe some medication to calm him down a little?

 

[karaokePete]

Hello @Tillymint49, welcome to TP. I hope you find the forum to be a friendly, informative and supportive place.

If these 'sightings' mainly take place during the evening/night your Dad could be 'sundowning'. This is when shadows/faint light cause problems to a confused mind when the person is tired. Drawing curtains early and keeping a home well lit can help with that.

If it's a fairly recent thing a recurring infection, such as a UTI, could be the cause as infections can cause havoc in the mind of a person with dementia. It may be worth having your Dad tested for this.

It's known that people with dementia can confabulate with things like TV/films and bring fiction into their daily fact. Has a TV program or film with an affair as a theme been watched lately. If so you may have to talk your way round the issue and a very useful thread on the subject of communication can be found by following this link https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/threads/compassionate-communication-with-the-memory-impaired.30801/

I hope you get resolution.

 

[Tillymint49]

Thank you both for the advice, it's a worrying time for us. Dad seems to be getting worse quite quickly lately. Mum is very independent and able, although she is currently half way through hip op recuperation, but she is finding it very difficult not to take this accusation personally.