Hi, my mother is 84 and has got vascular dementia which is not quite the same as Alzheimers but the symptoms are similar. Can I first say, I learned more from this website in 10 minutes than from her GP, hospital doctors and social services in 3 years! SHe lives in a small flat 10 minutes away from my sister, who is round there 4-5 times a day, gets her meals, helps her get dressed and washed, takes her out to the hairdressers, does all her washing (She is not incontinent as such but has accidents). She spends Wednesdays with her own sister who is 86, but does not suffer from dementia at all, and Sundays with me. My sister is finding it tough as she is partially disabled herself and retired early through ill health.(I am still working full time). We had an assessment from social services to see what help was available, in the form of carers, helpers, maybe residential help later on. Mum is at the stage where she should not really be living alone, her GP has said on several occasions. She has fallen over and broke her wrist last week and is now in plaster. (I only learned from this web site that her wobbly gait is due to dementia and lack of spatial awareness, no-one told us that before). She can get dressed herself but sometimes does not want to bother getting out of bed. She cannot make herself food or a cup of tea any more and does not help herself to food from the fridge. However she can sound perfectly lucid and in her own mind is fit and able to look after herself as she has done for years and years. I am sure everyone is familiar with this. Anyway, anything the guy from social services suggested; carers, respite day care, meals on wheels, mum refused indignantly point blank and apparently you cannot force anyone to have anything or do anything they dont want to, even if they are not in their right mind. Her GP has said she needs extra help. So while the guy sympathised that my sister does need a break, we have hit a brick wall and he said nothing could be done unless she fell over and ended up in hospital, which is what we dont want to happen. Sorry to ramble on. Can anyone offer any insight/advice/knowledge? OR just a bit of empathy? Thanks.