Help, Dad's dementia is going to kill him and me

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by burfordthecat, Dec 27, 2008.

  1. Helen33

    Helen33 Registered User

    Jul 20, 2008
    14,697
    Hello Burf

    I am sorry to hear about your dad. You are really have it tough Burf.

    Sending love and my best wishes to you in these trying circumstances.
     
  2. lesmisralbles

    lesmisralbles Account Closed

    Nov 23, 2007
    5,543
    Hello Burf

    Ye God's, when it hit's the fan ------------

    Please do not worry, easy to say, I know.
    Last year mum had fluid on her lung's, it was affecting her heart. She is fine now:).

    Thank goodness they found out Burf, I hope your dad feel's better soon.
    And you, young lady, try to get some sleep XX

    Sending love
    Barb X & Ron X
     
  3. windyridge

    windyridge Registered User

    Apr 7, 2009
    12
    UK
    sundowning?

    HI

    Poor you - hope the hospital has worked out how to deal with your dad now. My mum spent a day in A and E recently and indulged in some shall we say challenging behaviour - the nurses ended up calling in some sort of roving dementia management coordinator (who provides external support for the hospital)! Mind you they all expect us to cope with the behaviour with very little support....


    I see this phrase "sundowning" a lot on here - what does it mean?

    Hang on in there
    Windyridge
     
  4. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Burf, I'm so sorry to read about your dad. He does seem to have multiple problems, which as Jennifer says should make it easier to get CC -- make sure he is assessed before he is discharged from hospital.

    It's such a worrying time for you, let's hope they can get to the bottom of his lung problem, and it's nothingtoo serious.

    They should not be ringing youto settle him, though! While he's in hospital, he's their responsibility, and they should have the staff to cope. Your SW should be ableto make thisclear to them, you have your own family to care for.

    Try to get some rest this weekend, and enjoy your kids.

    Love and hugs,
     
  5. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,709
    Kent
  6. sue38

    sue38 Registered User

    Mar 6, 2007
    10,854
    Wigan, Lancs
    Burf, I do sympathise. When my dad was in hospital last October, they had no idea how to deal with his dementia, and put him on a ward with a side door leading to the carpark just yards away. I had a call to say my dad had got from the ground floor to the fourth floor and was coming down the fire escape, could I come and sort him out? No roving dementia experts, just a couple of burly security men. :mad:

    We kicked up such a fuss that they organised one to one care from nurses from ICU which fortunately was not full, just to come and sit with him.

    I hope the shadow on his lung is nothing too serious.
     
  7. burfordthecat

    burfordthecat Registered User

    Jan 9, 2008
    1,707
    Female
    Leicestershire
    Hi

    Thank you all for your replies and support. It really does mean a lot to me, especially with my hubby being on the other side of the pond, whilst all of this is kicking off.

    Mad or just plain stupid! not sure which category I fit into but ....today, I took myself and both of my kids :eek::eek::eek: to visit dad in hospital. I knew that it was going to be hard going, but I think that dad was very pleased to see his grandchildren and my kids were "wowed" by the size of the hospital their grandad was staying in. We did not manage to stay the full hour but at least we saw him and that made me feel a lot better.:) I guess, once a dad's girl, always a dad's girl:D

    I still have no further news about dad's condition. I have basically been told that "nothing happens" to patients in hospitals during the weekend and the first day some results will be available or decisions are made, will be Monday.

    On a better note, tonight, since dad had moved into his new ward, I have not had any phone calls, asking to settle him. Looks as though at least one of the nurses has been hit by the "clue stick".

    As much as I really want to, I will not see dad tomorrow. I have decided that it is a treat for the kids, going out to have some fun in the afternoon.
     
  8. nellbelles

    nellbelles Volunteer Host

    Nov 6, 2008
    8,432
    leicester
    Enjoy taking the girls out and have some fun time..

    You know you Dad is in the best place, so as much as you can stop worrying..
     
  9. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Have a lovely day, Burf, you deserve it.:)

    Love,
     
  10. julieann15

    julieann15 Registered User

    Jun 13, 2008
    2,012
    Leicestershire
    Update on your dad Burf?

    Hi Burf
    Just wondered if there is an update on your dad?Hope you enjoyed your day off too?

    Love Julie xx
     
  11. burfordthecat

    burfordthecat Registered User

    Jan 9, 2008
    1,707
    Female
    Leicestershire
    Hi Julie

    No update so far, dad is still in hospital. I am waiting for a phone call from his consultant this afternoon, to explain to me what is going on and what happens next.

    One very annoying thing has happened. Dad's wash bag (including new electric shaver etc) has been missing since Saturday. Found out yesterday that it has been given to another gentleman who has now been discharged to a NH. More hassle that I really could do without.

    Had a interesting phone call from the hospital. Dad's consultant is trying to set up a "dementia/medical" ward. The idea being that people who have dementia but also medical needs will be put there and have both mental and physical needs looked after. Sounds like a step in the right direction. They have asked me if give my permission for dad to be part of the study. I have agreed. Well, the ward will not be up and running for another 2 years, but if my/dad's input will help other poor families in the same boat, then it will be worth it.
     
  12. burfordthecat

    burfordthecat Registered User

    Jan 9, 2008
    1,707
    Female
    Leicestershire
    Names in socks?

    Hi

    I have decided that whilst dad is in hospital, I will take the opportunity to properly name label all of this clothes (mostly using sewn in labels)

    One item has stumped me. What do you do about socks?
     
  13. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,437
    I put mine on the top (on the outside). No one can see them there and they don't irritate. If I was feeling particular stressed for time I would attach them at only one end, hanging down, like a flag, sort of.
     
  14. nellbelles

    nellbelles Volunteer Host

    Nov 6, 2008
    8,432
    leicester
  15. lesmisralbles

    lesmisralbles Account Closed

    Nov 23, 2007
    5,543
    Burf

    Do not bother.
    They will go missing anyway.
    I am sure you have better thing's to do;)

    Come on, I put Ron's sock's in the washing machine, why does only one sock some out ?

    There must be a sock heaven, all the single sock's are waiting, untill the other one turn's up:D

    Not meant to be flippant, I hope I made you smile:)
    Barb XX
     
  16. julieann15

    julieann15 Registered User

    Jun 13, 2008
    2,012
    Leicestershire
    Hi Burf
    Can socks and undies be left for you to launder- if you have time and enough? Away from all the other washing? The home I have for mum says they will put ALL Mum's laundry in her laundry bag for us to wash unless badly soiled and needing immediate washing?

    Just a thought?

    Julie xx
     
  17. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    I do the same as Jennifer, Burf -- at the top, on the outside.

    Make sure you sew them on very firmly. They use industrial washers and driers, and labels very easily become detatched.

    It's a never-ending job!
     
  18. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    9,519
    Frinton-on-Sea
    I sewed all Lionels in, along with everything else.

    I have never had major problems with laundry at his home, but boy you should see the pile of socks left to be sorted.

    Even when they are matched up into pairs - which belongs to who?

    Sorry Barb, just not an option.:)
     
  19. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,437
    Not relevant to Burf but in answer to the question where do socks go - a couple of years ago my washing machine died on me and when the repair man came, there were the remains of two socks in the pump. How they got there I have no idea, but it's true - some washing machines eat socks.
     
  20. Squibbs

    Squibbs Registered User

    May 13, 2008
    70
    Portsmouth, England
    Also not relevant but funny - when the man came to fix my washing machine some time ago the 'fault' was found to be 3 wires from underwired bra's - none of the missing socks though! Sue
     

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