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help and support


New member
Oct 18, 2021
my mum has recently been diagnosed with Alzheimer's dementia. She has been prescribed some medication to slow it down and will be starting them this week.

my father is the main carer and I feel he is starting to struggle (he is not well himself) I try and help where I can but I work which can make it difficult. i would be grateful if you could let me know what support and help there is.? Thanks


Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
Good morning @Rieski and welcome to the forum.

I’m sorry to read about your mum‘s diagnosis. I’m glad she has been offered medication and I hope that this will help her.

If you haven’t already done this I think it would be a good idea to get in touch with your local social work department and ask for an assessment of needs for your mum and a carers’ assessment for your dad. I don’t know what the situation is with these types of assessments at the moment given the pandemic but it would be sensible to alert them to your mum’s situation. This factsheet might help -

You could also put your parents’ postcode into the box in this site and see if there is anything available near you.

Keep posting here. You will get lots of help, support and understanding from the members.

Violet Jane

Registered User
Aug 23, 2021
If your mother will be self-funding her care you can just contact some care agencies and arrange care visits yourself. Agencies which provide personal care are regulated and inspected by the CQC. If you're not sure what support your mother needs then you can contact Social Services and ask them to care out a needs assessment. Your father is also entitled to a needs assessment as your mother's carer. Some charities eg Age UK provide sitting services but they won't deal with personal care eg change a person who is incontinent. There are day centres that your mother could go to and dementia cafes that both your parents could go to.

Often people with dementia are resistant to 'strangers' coming into the house, and resident carers such as your father may also not want 'people interfering' / 'knowing their business'. As a result, they struggle on without any help until things become unbearable and the carer is at breaking point. Many people think that it is best to get in help early so that the PWD gets used to people coming into the house because eventually home care will no longer be possible without carers coming in regularly.


Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
Hi @Rieski and a warm welcome to Dementia Talking Point.
First of all I'm sorry that your mum's diagnosis has bought you here, but you are in the right place for support and advice. This is a very helpful community.
First of all I'd contact your local social services for an assessment of your mother's needs and for a carers assessment for your dad. You should find the contact details on your local council's website. There you should be able to find details of any support such as clubs in the local area. These fact sheets from the Alzheimer's Society should be useful too.
and you may also find this about adjusting to your diagnosis useful when explaining things to your mother.
Social Services are very stretched at the moment, so it might be some time till they get round to visiting. In the meantime if your mother will be self-funding, having assets of over £23,500, it might be a good idea to look at paying to have a carer or a cleaner in a couple of times a week to help give your dad a bit of a break. Age UK do a Help at Home service in some areas . They don't do personal care but could do some light housework or maybe take your mum out for a coffee and a chat if that is the sort of thing your mum would like.
Also have both your parents taken out Lasting Power of Attorney. This will make managing their affairs much easier as things progress, so very much worth doing.
I hope that isn't too much information in one go. This is a very friendly place and I'm sure others will be along soon with their ideas. In the meantime have a look around. The search bar at the top is a good place to find topics you are interested in.

Cross posted with @Grannie G.


New member
Oct 18, 2021
Thank you for your lovely and helpful messages. Very useful information. I will take a look. 😁