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Help and Advice


New member
May 7, 2021
My Grandmother was diagnosed with Dementia two years ago and has declined quite considerably during the Coronavirus pandemic.
My Grandfather is also struggling to cope with his own mental health with caring for her. He has the full support of my Mother and myself but being a stubborn man does not ask for help nor will he seek any. He is quite short tempered anyway and with my Nan repeating things over and over its really getting him down and that in turn is making my Nan unhappy.
I have tried to get him to contact support groups and respite centres but he will not speak to anyone. He will not look at the published guidance because he does not want to know what is coming.
They have got stuck in a rut of not going out of the house, eating properly or keeping their minds stimulated. My mother and I try to get them out of the house but rarely succeed.
I take the Great Grandchildren round which seems to brighten the mood, but i'm worried about them when we're not there.
My Nan is quite a shy and reserved lady who would not enjoy groups and meeting new people.
I feel very useless at the minute and just wish they would speak to someone to help manage and cope with the situation.

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
Hello @marshy7 welcome to Dementia Talking Point

It`s such a difficult time just now because of the pandemic. Even if your grandparents were willing to go out I don’t think any face to face centres are open yet. Also it`s very cold and they would probably be unable to move quickly enough to keep warm.

I used to make meals for my grandmother and take them round. She often wasn’t hungry and I had to be careful to make something light and nourishing. I made a joke about it calling out “Meals on wheels” when I arrived even if it was just some stewed fruit and custard.

I know it`s not always practical to take food round. Perhaps you could offer to shop for them
Do you and your mother take turns to visit? If you visit separately it will spread the visits out.

If both grandparents are vulnerable it is unlikely they will be able to help each other. A friend of mine who doesn’t have dementia but has lots of other health issues has a befriender from AgeUK. The Alzheimer’s Society also has befrienders and perhaps you could make enquiries to see if these services are back in provision.

There may be others here with better suggestions I hope so.

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