Help and advice - please!

rosiek

Registered User
Feb 1, 2011
47
0
Norfolk
Hi

Have had the news today that Mum's cousin has died, unfortunately the AZ was extremely rapid and it is a blessed release for her and her family, but do I tell Mum?

I know it will upset her if I break the news, but if I tell her will she forget and will I have to tell her again.

Please help - any advice would be much appreciated.

Thank you

Rosiek
 

Jo1958

Registered User
Mar 31, 2010
3,724
0
Yorkshire
Oh RosieK, I don't know

I am so sorry for your family's loss and hope that it was a blessed release, but I cannot help with any advice about telling your mum, could you maybe ask her main carer how they feel about breaking the news and what reaction she might have, oh how very hard for you.
Sorry not to be of more use, with kind regards from Jo
 

Pacucho

Registered User
Rosiek

Sorry to hear about your family's loss. I cared for my mum at home when she suffered from severe vascular dementia. Each time a family member passed away I decided not to tell her because I knew it would upset her and then she would forget, and so I did not see the point.
Regards,

Paco
 

BeckyJan

Registered User
Nov 28, 2005
18,971
0
Derbyshire
Hello:
I have not told my husband when dear friends/relatives have died over the past 3 years, that is since he has been in a fragile state himself. Prior to that I only told him on his better days, but even then he would forget.

My own thoughts are if you know it will upset your Mum do not tell her.
 

reno

Registered User
Feb 28, 2011
103
0
I no longer dwell on such things either. At the start of this year one of her best friends lost her daughter to cancer - a 'girl' my age (47!). Terribly sad and I did mention it to mum, but didn't make a big deal about it and didn't tell her about the funeral (not sure I could have faced it either). Mum is quite lucid at times, so I think I might still tell her of a death, just to ease my conscience, but then drop it and never mention or remind her again.

the only problem is warning other bereaved people that mum is very likely to forget that there has been a death and consequently 'put her foot in it'. The friend mentioned above understood this and has been very good about it (can't be easy)