Hi ironmaden,
I'm sorry to hear about your Dad, all the behaviours you mention are very common in people with dementia.
You say that you and your sister have sat and thought about your "dad has been going slowly for about 2 years". Have you also sat and discussed about what should happen now? Some plans need to be formulated with regard to your Dad's care, even if it turns out to be not exactly what you would like or expected.
"any time we ring mental health they allways say we will put him in a home ". This may not be meant unkindly, there are alternatives, but unless you push for them, it's fairly obvious that your Dad is at risk while at home on his own and I guess they want to ensure he has 24 hour care. Next time you speak to them, perhaps you could ask about alternatives, what's on offer and where to get the help.
As Norman says: "if you do not wish your father to go into a home,at this time,you need assistance at home."
"they said there was a lot of help when he came home but when he came home there was no help that was 3 monthes ago and we still do not have any help". The help is there but, unfortunatley, until your sister and yourself have decided what would best suit your Dad and yourselves, and then really start pushing to obtain it, no one will actually just do everything for you.
"today my dad has fullen over 3 times" - what happens if your Dad is on his own when this happens? When someone is in a Home, there is someone on hand with assistance. Being in a Home is not necessarily a bad thing. I used to have the opinion that I'd never want to see my parents in a Home. My Dad is now in a very good one and my Mum visits him so often that she practically lives there too! It's has become their 'home' and I have the peace of mind that Dad is being very well looked after.
Whatever you decide, I'd urge you to start some kind of action plan to find help for your Dad asap.
Best wishes and let us know how you get on,