1. Expert Q&A: Benefits - Weds 23 October, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of benefits. It will be hosted by Lauren from our Knowledge Services team. She'll be answering your questions on Wednesday 23 October between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

  1. Jazlin

    Jazlin Registered User

    Nov 17, 2015
    Would like to say hello.
    I have just found this site.
    My mum has just been diagnosed with dementia and I am the only carer and live at home with her and I am so frightened of who she has become over the solace of three months. My partner of 25 years walked out on me in March and mum got ill at the same time..... Feel like I have lost the only two people I love.
    Don't know where to start, it's a maze and have not been out of house since June, feel totally alone and isolated.
    Hope to find some new friends and help here?? .
  2. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    Hello Jazlin and welcome to TP.

    I'm so sorry to read if your situation. I'm sure you will find some help and support on this forum. Lots of people here to share their experiences with you.

    I wondered if you would consider phoning the Alzheimer Society National Dementia Helpline. It sounds as if you really need someone to talk to as well as getting support here online.

    The details of how to contact them are here.


    The phone number is 0300 222 1122.
  3. jaymor

    jaymor Volunteer Moderator

    Jul 14, 2006
    Hi Jazlin and welcome to Talking Point.

    We are all here to support, advise and offer friendship.

    Sorry you are in such a bad place at the moment. Have you sought any help at all? You can ask for a care assessment for your Mum to see what help she may need and an assessment for yourself to see what help you can be given to help you with caring.

    Please keep posting and hopefully we can support you as you care.
  4. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    Hi Jaz and welcome to TP loads of support and friends here xx

    I would suggest, as well as the helpline that you find out where your local carers organisation is - full of people caring just like you, sharing a cup of coffee with loads of info about your local services and help with form filling.

    You might want to google your location with local carers or carers organisation or carers cafe and it should come up.
    Some places also have a memory cafe where you can go with your mum and have coffee together and meet lots of others.

    You will want to claim Attendance Allowance (non means tested) and possibly carers allowance too depending on your circumstances and I would suggest that you phone your local adult care services duty desk and ask for a carers assessment. These three things will give you some extra cash to pay for some extra care or services and the carers assessment may give you some hours where someone will come and sit with you mum and give you a break once or twice a week.

    If your mum is incontinent then you may want to look up 'continence service' for your area and give them a ring as you can get free pads on the NHS which made a huge difference to us.

    These are probs the first things I would do.

    keep posting, thinking of you xx
  5. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
  6. Louby65

    Louby65 Registered User

    Mar 26, 2014
    Hello Jazlin. Please be reassured that you have made the first step in looking for support . Now as others have informed you , the next step us about getting professional support for both you and your mum . Take it from someone who knows how utterly despairing this horrible disease is. Like you I live with my mum and for a long time had no support but having nearly reached breaking point I now have much more support in the form if a wonderful carer , who has provided me with breathing space . Something that I believe you haven't had for a while . Please ask and take the help that is on offer . You are not alone . Please keep posting , to let us know how you are doing. Best wishes to you and your mum. Lou
  7. Kevinl

    Kevinl Registered User

    Aug 24, 2013
    Hiya Jazlin, welcome to the club, pull up a chair and park your bum on it, we're all here to help where we can.
    Dagenham's down south, a mythical land to us northeners all I know about Dagenham is the Girl Pipers and they make Ford cars there, well they did last I heard.
    Anything you want to know just ask and someone on here is bound to know.
  8. patsy56

    patsy56 Registered User

    Jan 14, 2015
    Fife Scotland
    Hi Jazlin welcome to TP you will always find a friendly person here
  9. Toddleo

    Toddleo Registered User

    Oct 7, 2015
    Hello and welcome Jazlin, another relative newbie here. Wonderfully supportive and helpful bunch on TP
  10. Dazmum

    Dazmum Registered User

    Welcome Jazlin, what a really tough time for you, I am sorry. Ask away, always someone who can help or just offer sympathy xx
  11. kennedy1948

    kennedy1948 Registered User

    Oct 7, 2013

    Hi Jazlin,

    My husband has vascular dementia and I have found this wonderful forum so helpful and supportive. There is always someone who will take the time to respond to your post and give valuable and sound advice.

    Take care of yourself too.


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