Hello

[Claireyclunk]

Hi, found this site through Alzheimer's Uk, but have never posted on forums before. My mum is 76 and was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in January 2013.
My mum started on meds and I've really encouraged and supported her to continue an active social life which I know has been great.
Unfortunately though, my dad has been in hospital for 7 weeks and has now been diagnosed with Kidney Cancer and has been given 3 to 6 months. My mum's been staying with me since my dad went into hospital and my mum has really deteriorated with all the stress of my dad and being out of her own environment.
Finding it so hard as my mum keeps forgetting about his cancer, I'm not reminding her, but somehow every now and again she remembers and then is devastated all over again.
My partner is tolerating my mum staying with us but being really short with me and my son is type 1 diabetic and wears a pump so I'm up testing him through the night and I'm emotionally exhausted.
I understand that this is my mum, but I'm finding it really hard. I know partners must find it difficult when in-laws are staying with them so any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Also need advice about dealing with mood swings for my mum and how to deal with trying to help support her and my dad when he gets home to spend the rest of his time at home. I have secured a care package for my dad 3 time as a day and have morning care for my mum as well as dinner preparation.
Sorry, I feel I'm totally rambling and can't thank the people who support this enough. Hopefully will not have bored you all with my ramblings..
Take Care
Claireyclunk

 

[Kevinl]

Hi Claireyclunk, welcome to TP
You can have a lot on your plate as they say but I couldn't squeeze a couple more peas on yours it's so full, we could never get bored of "ramblings" (your word not mine) like yours, join in and say what you want, other than the cost of the tissues I don't have a problem listening.
K

 

[Grannie G]

Hello Claireyclunk

The level of stress you are under does not seem sustainable especially if you do not have the 100% support from your husband with the care for your parents.

I`m not criticising him, he is probably also worried you are taking too much on.

It sounds as if tough decisions may need to be made. You are already having your sleep disrupted by care for your son, you cannot be expected to give 24/7 care to two people indefinitely.

 

[looviloo]

Sorry to read about your difficult situation, Claireyclunk, and sending you a big virtual hug...

It sounds like you already have social services involved. When I was going through a crisis with my dad and wondering which way to turn, I found it helpful to ring the Alzheimer's Society helpline (very understanding), Age UK (good practical advice) and anyone else who would listen. I offloaded, and took notes about options for the future, and was able to clear my head enough to make tentative plans. As Grannie G says, you might have to make some tough decisions... not easy, but with support you will get through it. And please don't forget that you and your family matter in all this. Don't stretch yourself to your limits; get as much help as you can.

 

[Risa]

Hi Claireyclunk, and sorry to hear about your situation

Have you spoken to your Mum's GP about her mood swings and whether there is any medication that might help to alleviate them? With everything going on your Mum could be suffering from depression. Looking after your son as well as caring for your Mum it is a lot to cope with - would it be worth considering your Mum having a stay in respite until your Dad is out of hospital? I had to look after my Mum earlier this year when my Dad was in hospital but I didn't have the worry of any children plus I had my sister to help me so I really feel for you {{{hugs}}}.