Registered User
Oct 22, 2007

I am a new member to the site so thought I would introduce myself.

I am 20 and my Nan (73) was diagnsed with alzheimer's a couple of years ago.

Even though she has been diagnosed for a few years it feels as though she has deteriorated all of a sudden. Over this last year she has gradualy gotten worse and she is barely recognisable these days.

I have to say that it is actually seeing the affect it has on my grandad which is more upseting. He is at his wits end I think. He has no life and no energy any more. He lives everyday caring for my Nan and even when she is out for the day he cannot relax because he has all the house work to catch up on.

I feel helpless and all I want i to be able to help them and make things better.

My Nan and Grandad have been a major part of my life; I spent all of my school holidays, birthdays, christmas' with them.

I think this site is a great way to share experiences and speak to other people who understand.

I look forward to speaking to you all.



Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
SW Scotland
Hi Em, welcome to TP. I'm glad you appreciate how difficult it is for your grandad, and are trying to find ways to help. I'm sure he appreciates how much you care.

How much help does he get? Has he had a carers' assessment forn social services to see what help he needs? There's all sorts available, from people to take your nan out to give him a break, day care, to people coming in to help wash and dress your nan. But they don't offer it, you have to ask.

If he has already had an assessment, he could ask for a re-assessment to see if he is eligible for more help.

Apart from that, just try to let your grandad know how much you love him, and that you know how hard it is for him.

You're a lovely granddaughter. Please keep in touch with us.



Registered User
Jun 24, 2007
Hi Emily,

Welcome to Talking point, sorry to hear about Your Nan, it’s a terrible illness.

My Gran also suffers from alzheimer's, She’s been living with my mum for the last year or so now, and much like with your own experience her health seamed to have suddenly gone down hill.

If you don’t mind me asking just how much help and support is your Granddad getting from Social services? There is support out there but from experience he needs to push for it, and don’t take no for an answer. He could be entitled to a day centre, Help with personal Care, and of course respite for when he needs it. I know some times pride gets in the way of allowing us to accept help but we must, these sort of situations I feel are too much to handle alone.

Is your granddad getting some time to himself ? it may be an idea if gets away for a little while, even an afternoon a week does wonders for peoples energy levels. I fully believe this illness is every bit as hard on the carers and loved ones as it is on the person suffering. And its so important he takes care of him self and ensures he takes care of his own needs also.

I also know the helpless feeling, but I’m sure your doing all you can, just be there for them both, Since I moved out mums told me it’s the little things that help, nipping to the shops, just popping in for a cuppa and chat.

Keep your chin up,

- x -


Registered User
Jun 29, 2007
North Wales
Hello Em,

I was in a very similar situation and age as your grandad before I got help.

Everything that Hazel says is right - also try contacting your local branch of the Alzheimer's Society. They were the key for me to unlock my loneliness and isolation. Just a break of three hours each week was enough to make me feel I wasn't alone.

You sound a wonderful person, keep posting here, lots of people will try to help.

Wishing you well


Registered User
Apr 15, 2007
Dear Emily,
Welcome to TP. I think that it is wonderful that you are concerned about your Grandad. If your Grandad isn't receiving support in the way of domestic...personal or respite assistance then Skye has pointed out, the direction you need to take.

A lot of family and friends just don't realise how lonely and difficult the full time caring role is, depending on your own circumstances all you can do is support your Grandad the best way you can. Maybe, if it is not already happening you can also try and encourage family members to do the same. Take Care Taffy. :)


Registered User
Oct 6, 2007
Hi Em,

Welcome to TP. I only joined a few weeks ago, and I can tell you this is a wonderful way to talk to people, people who are going through similar situations, who care and understand.

You say you feel helpless and want to be able to help them - Well try not to feel helpless because you are helping them, you love them and care for them so much, and they know that. You sound like a wonderful granddaughter and they are lucky to have you.

We are all here for you.

Take care.
Michele xx

Jodie Lucas

Registered User
Dec 3, 2005
Hello Emily,

Welcome to TP. I have been a member for a while, I used to work with people with dementia, but now have a more personal interest since my grandmother was diagnosed with vascular dementia bout 4 or 5 months ago, I'm 25 my gran is 78 (nearly 79). I have found all the advice given here very helpful and is a great source of support

keep in touch

Jodie x