Hello all, this is my first post and I have been lurking for a few days.
I have by default become the primary carer for my father in law who has dementia.
He has come back from Australia where he has lived for the past 22 years to live with my husband, son and myself.
We visited earlier this year and found a frail elderly gentleman (82) who was not coping living on his own, not eating losing a significant amount of weight, and his fantastic neighbors and community were unsure what to do with him. I could not leave him on his own he has no family in Oz, my mother in law having died some 6 years ago, - his children all live in the UK.
So last month I returned to Oz, sorted out the house, put it on the market, packed him up and bought his home with me. My husband had thought he would buy a flat in town and live on his own, however FIL has latched on to me as his carer and says he knows I will look after him, I think he will stay here until he reaches a level by where he needs more care than I can give and then he will need to go to a care home.
In truth I feel a little panicky about what the future holds, I know I could not have left him in the situation that he was in but I barely know the man, in the past 20 years I have met him probably 8 times and these past few weeks have spent more time with him that I have over the previous 20 years, I cannot help feeling a bit resentful about his daughters who are not planning on visiting him until the end of August.
I feel I am doing the right thing but am scared about what I have taken on.
I have by default become the primary carer for my father in law who has dementia.
He has come back from Australia where he has lived for the past 22 years to live with my husband, son and myself.
We visited earlier this year and found a frail elderly gentleman (82) who was not coping living on his own, not eating losing a significant amount of weight, and his fantastic neighbors and community were unsure what to do with him. I could not leave him on his own he has no family in Oz, my mother in law having died some 6 years ago, - his children all live in the UK.
So last month I returned to Oz, sorted out the house, put it on the market, packed him up and bought his home with me. My husband had thought he would buy a flat in town and live on his own, however FIL has latched on to me as his carer and says he knows I will look after him, I think he will stay here until he reaches a level by where he needs more care than I can give and then he will need to go to a care home.
In truth I feel a little panicky about what the future holds, I know I could not have left him in the situation that he was in but I barely know the man, in the past 20 years I have met him probably 8 times and these past few weeks have spent more time with him that I have over the previous 20 years, I cannot help feeling a bit resentful about his daughters who are not planning on visiting him until the end of August.
I feel I am doing the right thing but am scared about what I have taken on.