1. Expert Q&A: Benefits - Weds 23 October, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of benefits. It will be hosted by Lauren from our Knowledge Services team. She'll be answering your questions on Wednesday 23 October between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

  1. Susyg

    Susyg Registered User

    Feb 22, 2015
    Hi Everyone,
    I guess as we are all on here that we are all in the same boat!
    My Mother in Law has dementia and myself and hubby are her main carers. Although not officially diagnosed her Dr says she has vascular dementia. We have had a memory nurse come to house to do an assessment and Thursday I am taking her for an MRI head scan. A date in April then to see the specialist for all the results.
    At first it was just short term memory loss and repetitive questions and phone calls. Now she has started saying that builders have been in the house and whilst working they took her bank card. I knew this was not true but was away for the weekend and my daughter had all the phone calls and to be on the safe side cancelled bank card. The new one arrived and MIL decided that I should look after it, then forgot that I had it so then phoned bank and reported it stolen again so we are now waiting again for new bank card! We have today put a whiteboard by the telephone to remind her that she is waiting for new card as we were getting constant phone calls saying she had lost card or builders have taken it. We are now getting phone calls saying that she cannot find their wills. It is so sad to see her getting so anxious over these things and she is at the stage where she knows something is wrong with her head. If you were to meet her you would probably not pick up on the fact she has dementia as she can hold a good conversation with anybody.
    Anybody else come across this where the sufferer gets anxious and obsessive over legal things and money?
  2. lin1

    lin1 Registered User

    Jan 14, 2010
    East Kent
    Hello Welcome to TP.
    I can relate to much of what you said. My mum didn't worry about bank cards or legal things, their was a time though when she worried that she didn't have any money to pay for the meal, treat or drink that I had just taken up to her. Luckily telling mum that it was already paid for worked and she enjoyed her meal etc.

    I have no wish to worry you.Has LPA ( lasting power of attorney ) if your mum is agreeable been sorted out, as it is possible if the bank thinks a person is losing/ has lost capacity to manage their finances for them to freeze the accounts .

    I have found TP very helpful ,have made lots of friends on here , I hope you find the same.

    Feel free to ask any questions
  3. Grey Lad

    Grey Lad Registered User

    Sep 12, 2014
    North East Lincs
    Hello SusyG welcome to T P: it's much the same here with problems on the money front. Maureen says I have got all her money and didn't tell her that DWP said they wanted to pay her pension into my account along with Attendance Allowance. She has lost her debit card on a number of occasions; has to have help using the cash machine and be prompted of her PIN Number. We have found various stashes of cash which she cannot remember where they have come from. Don't mind this as she usually tells me to put in my account for her board! Joking aside all of this is a worry and trying to help her maintain her independence without getting into a financial mess is problematic.
  4. Susyg

    Susyg Registered User

    Feb 22, 2015
    Good Morning Lin1 and Grey Lad,
    Thank you both for replying. We are in the process of LPA, the Dr has done assessment and forms will be back at solicitors today. I think in the meantime hubby will go into bank and explain that his mum is getting fixated on bank cards and losing them and see what can be done short term.
    I think what is really sad is the fact that my FIL is around and she is his main carer and has no support from him. They are both in their eighties and the old fashioned type that don't want help. He is diabetic, amputee and dialysis three times a week and he does not understand dementia. He thinks it is just forgetfulness and does not realise how often she loses things and rings family members constantly as she is very secretive.
    We do as much as we can for them but I wish they would just accept a bit of outside help.
    Well off to work now, have a nice day and Happy Birthdy Grey Lad.
  5. Roses40

    Roses40 Registered User

    Jan 25, 2015
    My dad is very anxious about the bank cards and gets muddled. Our bank has been really good when he insists on a meeting to sort it all out. We get to see the same manager and she sorts it out for him as if it is the first time he's asked x

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