Hello

Claire322

Registered User
Feb 16, 2015
2
Difficult to ask such personal questions to persons never met, but also helpful in a way.
I am married to a man diagnosed with Alzheimers. We have a large home and grounds.
He refuses to allow anyone to come and maintain it, therefore it is out of control and not at all what it was previously. There have been times my daughter has taken him away and the grounds have been maintained. I find myself needing to do that again and I am tired with all of the planning it takes. I still work full time by choice because it is the lesser of to evils...I cannot stay home 24 hours a day. Does that make sense?
Is what I have described a symptom of Alzheimer's or plain old control?
Claire
 

katie1

Registered User
Aug 5, 2014
122
Kendal Cumbria
Difficult to ask such personal questions to persons never met, but also helpful in a way.
I am married to a man diagnosed with Alzheimers. We have a large home and grounds.
He refuses to allow anyone to come and maintain it, therefore it is out of control and not at all what it was previously. There have been times my daughter has taken him away and the grounds have been maintained. I find myself needing to do that again and I am tired with all of the planning it takes. I still work full time by choice because it is the lesser of to evils...I cannot stay home 24 hours a day. Does that make sense?
Is what I have described a symptom of Alzheimer's or plain old control?
Claire
You sound like you are tired out. I wish I could think of some sensible advice for you.
Are there other members of the family that might be able to come and stay regularly to help? even if they only stay one night or come for an afternoons gardening and then tea or BBQ outside on the patio?
You say your daughter has taken him away then the grounds have been maintained, could this be a regular thing? could a friend or family member take him out or you both go together and the grounds are done whilst you are out?
Does he notice the grounds have been done?
Sorry I am not much help.
My parents realised that they could not manage their large hillside garden so employ a very good gardener, he has come every Tuesday for years and gets on with a range of jobs, despite my Dads confused and jumbled conversations with him!