1. dandj61

    dandj61 Registered User

    Jan 31, 2015
    2
    West Yorkshire
    #1 dandj61, Jan 31, 2015
    Last edited: Jan 31, 2015
    Hi ,
    I have just joined and could do with help over my father who has gone down hill, I feel like knocking my head on a brick wall as no-one is giving us any help.
    Just before christmas my father had an accident and went into hospital, we knew then he had dementia but did not know how bad.
    The hospital discharge him and we had to find him a home for dementia which we did (£750 per week) after 3 days my father picked a fire extingisher up and threatend one of the staff, this led to a phone call asking us to remove him.
    We found him another home (£650 per week) and they said they will access his medication and get him sorted, they also said that if it was not the medication then he may have to go into a nursing home?(confused I thought dementia homes were for people with dementia).
    He seemed to of settled then he turned again and now they are saying we may have to remove him from there.
    My mother who is 75 is not coping at all with this and he still has not had his medicine assesment and also he use to be so placid before never shouted or show any violence.
    I am sorry if this islong winded thank you for reading and thank you in advance of any help.

    Dandj61
     
  2. jaymor

    jaymor Volunteer Moderator

    Jul 14, 2006
    12,486
    Female
    England
    Hello and welcome to TP.

    For some people living with dementia violence does become one of the many many different behaviours they may present. My husband was one who showed a great deal of violence, always towards himself not anyone else.

    A care home should always assess someone before they agree to providing care. They should be looking at medical diagnosis and all the paper work held by the present home. His aggression should be well documented but you have to rely on the care home keeping good and in depth records.

    Try to be available when the home comes so you too can have some input. It is very unfair on you, your Mum and your Dad that he is being moved. You need a care home or nursing home that can deal with challenging behaviour. Your Father once in the right home may no longer be so challenging once settled and familiar with his surroundings. This will never happen if he is continually moved.

    It is so wrong of a home to accept someone that they probably know they may not be in a position to care for. So try to be there and make sure they realise the level of care your Father needs and deserves.

    Take care, there are such care homes or nursing homes out there, we found one.
     
  3. Unfortunately, this will likely be a recurring pattern until he can be stabilised somehow. His best bet would be for him to be admitted into an acute NHS dementia assessment unit where he could be assessed, meds adjusted and hopefully he will stabilise. This can take several weeks. His current home may well be able to have him back if he is more stable and his behaviour more manageable.

    This can be arranged through the GP or his dementia consultant or CPN

    Good luck

     
  4. dandj61

    dandj61 Registered User

    Jan 31, 2015
    2
    West Yorkshire
    Answers to my worry

    Thank you everyone who replied, you have made this journey a lot easier knowing that you have been through similar issues.
    Thank you once again and I will let you know how this is going.

    Dandj61 xxx
     

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