This is my first post, although ive read through the site, in general, trying to gleem useful info, i live with my Mother, who has mixed vascular dementia, and have been her full time carer for 5 years, as you all know, the isolation felt as a carer, is huge, added to this mix, is my sexuality,i am lesbian, finding a forum for Lesbian and Gay carers, is great !..i dont feel so alone now, the question id like to ask is....mum is now getting very frail, with bouts of double incontinence, in a small house, she furniture walks,but for how long who knows, i need now for her to go into a nursing home, and i realise she will have to fund this herself, as she has pension, and savings, over the limit, can i arrange a home without SS involvement? she is aged 90, and to be honest i fear losing the home i have shared with her , most of my adult life ( its in her name ) i have enduring power of attorney, sorry if this message appears garbled, i have so much i want to ask