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Hello, yes, I'm the daughter

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,742
I agree, am trying not to stress about the scan. Dad hasn't been to memory clinic, they came to him! Sorry that your mum was given that rather unsatisfactory result, although sounds like it worked out in the end... although it does take a crisis doesn't it...

Thanks, my nan has always been a rock to us all and I can't imagine life without her. I also know she can't live forever, but she doesn't deserve this.
take heart a little, my Mums diagnosis last year meant she was prescribed memantine- wow what a positive thing thats has been. I’ve never had the best relationship with Mum, but since on the drug the night confabulations have stopped, mums no longer lashing out at me, & actually cuddled me last week! I can’t tell you how lovely that was.

As Dementia progresses it doesn’t always mean the same for everyone, medication can & sometimes does give respite.
 

imthedaughter

Registered User
Apr 3, 2019
487
take heart a little, my Mums diagnosis last year meant she was prescribed memantine- wow what a positive thing thats has been. I’ve never had the best relationship with Mum, but since on the drug the night confabulations have stopped, mums no longer lashing out at me, & actually cuddled me last week! I can’t tell you how lovely that was.

As Dementia progresses it doesn’t always mean the same for everyone, medication can & sometimes does give respite.
I am hopeful the scan will lead to us at least trying some medication. If it did the same for dad as it did for your mum it would certainly make things easier at the home. Thanks for replying!
 

imthedaughter

Registered User
Apr 3, 2019
487
Dad's had his scan. Dr went to see him today. He has a blood clot on his brain. I don't know what that means, exactly, vascular dementia? Anyone know?
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,657
Yorkshire
Sorry no experience of this but I'd guess if he does have dementia it would be vascular dementia . Did dr say if dad had dementia or only say that he had a blood clot? I just wondered could the blood clot be the problem and it not be dementia at all? Could the memory loss and other difficulties be temporary due to the clot? If he suggested any treatment or medication maybe you google what its used for and that might help identify it. I hope you get more info soon so you can find out exactly what is causing dads memory difficulties X
 

imthedaughter

Registered User
Apr 3, 2019
487
Sorry no experience of this but I'd guess if he does have dementia it would be vascular dementia . Did dr say if dad had dementia or only say that he had a blood clot? I just wondered could the blood clot be the problem and it not be dementia at all? Could the memory loss and other difficulties be temporary due to the clot? If he suggested any treatment or medication maybe you google what its used for and that might help identify it. I hope you get more info soon so you can find out exactly what is causing dads memory difficulties X
They said he had dementia, and they wanted to do a scan to see if there was any physical cause or damage, and now they have found a clot. I suspect this is connected to the falls he had last autumn. The decline has been going on for so long I can't believe it's just a blood clot causing it all? And also he doesn't want a brain op, and there's no medication that they think will help. Thanks for answering though, it sounds like we're thinking along the same lines!
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,657
Yorkshire
They said he had dementia, and they wanted to do a scan to see if there was any physical cause or damage, and now they have found a clot. I suspect this is connected to the falls he had last autumn. The decline has been going on for so long I can't believe it's just a blood clot causing it all? And also he doesn't want a brain op, and there's no medication that they think will help. Thanks for answering though, it sounds like we're thinking along the same lines!
Sorry x Sounds like probably vascular dementia then like you said. I hope that the dr visit isn't it though and they refer you back to memory team or someone for more info and help or at least send a fuller written diagnosis or something and don't just leave you to it (X)
 

imthedaughter

Registered User
Apr 3, 2019
487
Sorry x Sounds like probably vascular dementia then like you said. I hope that the dr visit isn't it though and they refer you back to memory team or someone for more info and help or at least send a fuller written diagnosis or something and don't just leave you to it (X)
Oh yes me too -I 'm going to make a telephone appointment and try to find out what's going on and what the options are. It's been a very slow and long road to all this stuff and I'm so far away...
Hope you are having an ok weekend annielou, I read all your posts and really feel for you x
 

imthedaughter

Registered User
Apr 3, 2019
487
It's been a while since I updated but I did have a call with the GP and she told me that the consultant who ordered the scan should be the one analysing it, however, she told me what she could see and it was - shrinkage and blood clots in several areas. From this I determined that we'd be looking at a mixed dementia diagnosis.

Sadly, nothing we do now could reverse anything, brain surgery to remove clots not an option at his stage in life and wouldn't make much difference now anyway.

The consultant visited Dad yesterday and confirmed this diagnosis - multiple types of dementia. He has been put on medication which is what I had also hoped for - donepezil 5mg.
 
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Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,688
South East
Glad you have finally got a diagnosis and hope the medication works well for dad . My Fil was showing signs of vascular dementia so much so I spoke to his gp about it, he made a note on dads notes . Then 5 weeks ago he had a large stroke , the clot is still there and they are hoping it will disperse eventually , he is still showing the same signs but when gp saw him last week they never mentioned it so I have no idea now if it’s the blood clot having that effect , I would presume he does have some vessel blockages though . If his main artery in neck was blocked it wouldn’t be out of the realms to think others are .
 

imthedaughter

Registered User
Apr 3, 2019
487
Glad you have finally got a diagnosis and hope the medication works well for dad . My Fil was showing signs of vascular dementia so much so I spoke to his gp about it, he made a note on dads notes . Then 5 weeks ago he had a large stroke , the clot is still there and they are hoping it will disperse eventually , he is still showing the same signs but when gp saw him last week they never mentioned it so I have no idea now if it’s the blood clot having that effect , I would presume he does have some vessel blockages though . If his main artery in neck was blocked it wouldn’t be out of the realms to think others are .
Yes, the vascular dementia can show itself, can't it! No clue as to how much or how fast a clot might disperse.

Dad had a noticeable decline after some falls. We'll never know if he had a stroke or the fall(s) caused the bleeding, but I have been told that some of the bleeding is consistent with falling onto your face - the brain (especially, I can imagine, if it has shrunk) hits the back of the skull and can bleed. Dad fell on his face with some force and had to have stitches last year. There are other areas which may be more stroke related.

Unfortunately the new medication is unlikely to go down well. Dad is not one to be compliant to authority and loves a conspiracy theory, and was brought up within a Christian Science household so is extremely suspicious of tablets. I think his iron is given in a juice! And he was very suspicious of a laxative even though he was quite unwell with constipation... what can you do eh!
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,657
Yorkshire
Hope you can get him to take it and the medication helps 🤞 fingers crossed. Glad you do finally have a diagnosis, sorry it isn't something that could be cured though, but think you had guessed that anyway and it may open doors to some help and now medication. (x)
 

imthedaughter

Registered User
Apr 3, 2019
487
Hope you can get him to take it and the medication helps 🤞 fingers crossed. Glad you do finally have a diagnosis, sorry it isn't something that could be cured though, but think you had guessed that anyway and it may open doors to some help and now medication. (x)
Thanks @annielou I could have told you what was going on without the scan based on his behaviour! But scan was very important to me for confirmation.
 

imthedaughter

Registered User
Apr 3, 2019
487
Well. I've been feeling very stressed in the past day as I had hoped my teaching would get cancelled as I felt it was too high risk for me personally, and was not an essential activity. I mean, it is, usually, but not right now. I taught the two kids who showed up yesterday. This morning we have been closed.

Now, I've got a headache, hopefully it's just a little dehydration and tension, rather than the dreaded virus.

I spoke - from a distance - to one of the parents and inadvertedly made her cry. She asked if my family were okay and I told her I was glad I was far away, so I don't have the temptation to visit. Dad is in a home which has been locked down for some time, my mum lives with a cancer survivior who has been told to self isolate for 12 weeks, my nan has cancer again and they are delaying her treatment so she is less at risk. I don't know when I will see any of them again. It is sad, but there's nothing we can do except stay home. My greatest fear is that one of them gets it and we aren't able to see them. But I hope that won't happen.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,688
South East
Yes, the vascular dementia can show itself, can't it! No clue as to how much or how fast a clot might disperse.

Dad had a noticeable decline after some falls. We'll never know if he had a stroke or the fall(s) caused the bleeding, but I have been told that some of the bleeding is consistent with falling onto your face - the brain (especially, I can imagine, if it has shrunk) hits the back of the skull and can bleed. Dad fell on his face with some force and had to have stitches last year. There are other areas which may be more stroke related.

Unfortunately the new medication is unlikely to go down well. Dad is not one to be compliant to authority and loves a conspiracy theory, and was brought up within a Christian Science household so is extremely suspicious of tablets. I think his iron is given in a juice! And he was very suspicious of a laxative even though he was quite unwell with constipation... what can you do eh!
They are hoping fil ‘s clot disperses in next 6 months or so . Poor dad, sounds very painful , maybe they will give new medication in liquid form .
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,657
Yorkshire
Well. I've been feeling very stressed in the past day as I had hoped my teaching would get cancelled as I felt it was too high risk for me personally, and was not an essential activity. I mean, it is, usually, but not right now. I taught the two kids who showed up yesterday. This morning we have been closed.

Now, I've got a headache, hopefully it's just a little dehydration and tension, rather than the dreaded virus.

I spoke - from a distance - to one of the parents and inadvertedly made her cry. She asked if my family were okay and I told her I was glad I was far away, so I don't have the temptation to visit. Dad is in a home which has been locked down for some time, my mum lives with a cancer survivior who has been told to self isolate for 12 weeks, my nan has cancer again and they are delaying her treatment so she is less at risk. I don't know when I will see any of them again. It is sad, but there's nothing we can do except stay home. My greatest fear is that one of them gets it and we aren't able to see them. But I hope that won't happen.
Oh bless you thats a lot of vulnerable people to worry about 🤗 Hugs (x) hope they all stay safe and this is over soon so you can see them x
Hope your headache is stress and or dehydration related X i get headaches when I've not had much water and when I'm worried too, try to drink plemty of water x
 

imthedaughter

Registered User
Apr 3, 2019
487
I've not updated on here much although I do reply to others if I can, but today we got a call from the CH to say dad had attacked another resident and two members of staff. He'd been in bed just before 6am and by 6.10am he was up and trying to throw everyone out of the home, saying they were in his establishment and they had to leave. He was obviously confabulating with the pub he ran for 30 years but he almost knocked a poor old lady out of her chair and interrupted the personal care of another .

I dread to think how the family of the resident he got hold of feels. They aren't to know dad's not usually violent and in this time moving anyone is not really possible.

Dad has no memory of what happened. They called an ambulance and there's nothing (else) wrong with him. I think it was a half waking dream that felt real to him but obviously we have to hope it is a one off as next time the police will be called and I'm not sure how he'd react. As a licencee you don't want the police showing up so I hope he'd calm down.

Apparently it was all over in an hour but the mental health team are being contacted and a safeguarding report made.

If anyone has any thoughts I'll be glad to hear them but I feel that this is probably par for the course. I hope he can stay where he is and perhaps have some new medication to try.

My siblings seem quite shocked but I'm afraid having read a lot on this forum I had been wondering how long we had before we had an incident like this. At least the home understood immediately what was happening.

Dad's really tired now. Not surprisingly after having tried to singlehandedly clear out the place! Quite the workout!
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,657
Yorkshire
Sorry nothing helpful to suggest, not had any experience of this personally but I just wanted to send you a virtual hug 🤗 Fingers crossed 🤞Its a one off and as you say maybe his medication is changed to help. Sounds like the home were on the ball in dealing with situation in best way for everyone. Hope it all gets resolved ok x
 

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