1. jane123

    jane123 Registered User

    I would like to say hello to u all have been browsing all your comments for last couple of days before deciding to join. Have not been to any support groups reg mums dementia talk to my sister a lot as she lives closer and goes a couple of times a week as my dad is primary carer, although I think he needs looking after as much as my mum. I can relate to u all and unless u have someone close to u suffering with this horrendous disease they dont have a clue how devestating this is.I live in Scotland so im 350 miles away so when i phone my mum and she asks if im calling down or will i come and take her home u feel so helpless. I do go home as often as i can and always stay with mum and dad and my children youngest being nearly 4 and hopefully will be moving home in the near future to be closer to help with mum.

    Look forward to getting to know u all.

    Jane
     
  2. nickyd

    nickyd Registered User

    Oct 20, 2007
    146
    warwickshire
    Hi Jane,
    Welcome to TP.
    You will find lots of support on here, and they'll always be someone here to listen to you and give you advice.
    Take Care & keep posting,
    Love,
     
  3. Mameeskye

    Mameeskye Registered User

    Aug 9, 2007
    1,669
    NZ
    Hi Jane

    And welcome.

    I sympthise with your situation as I had twin 18 month olds and lived 225 miles away when my mum was finally diagnosed eventhough she had probably been showing symptoms for a good two years (isn't hindsight wonderful?)

    I felt that as I wasn't a carer in those days (meaning being there and doing it) that I couldn't go to carer support groups. My then SIL and brother told me that they were dealing with it.
    I know now that I could have done and might have learnt a lot more a lot sooner. As it was I read everything I could get my hands on in the little time I had.

    I was travelling home every 3-4 weeks but the shock came from not seeing mum every week as you did tend to notice a lot more rapidly the problems than those closer because when I was there I was with her for three days or wo 24/7 rather than popping in for a visit which meant that you really saw the down turn with each visit.

    I tried my best to keep in contact with Mum almost daily by phone. Generally I would just recount what I had done each day. This helped her remember me and the boys and even as her memeory was failing last year, once I opened my mouth she would recognise me.

    It isn't an easy road down which you travel but the people here will be supportive and know about the illness and the horrid things it does to those close to us.

    Take care

    Mameeskye
     
  4. jane123

    jane123 Registered User

    Hi to Nicky and Mameeskye thank you for welcoming me to the TP site. Not brilliant finding my way around this site trial and error I suppose.

    Your situation Mameeskye sounds so similar to mine I speak to Mum 2 or 3 times a day just to reassure myself that they are both ok. I think we forget the carer sometimes and all focus seems to be on Mum so I always speak to Dad to make sure hes ok also, although everything is always fine when u speak to Dad. He's old school and even if he wasn't too good he wouldn't tell u. He say's I'm too much of a worrier. I'll be down to Mums for a week for Easter and like u I stay with them and I take over from Dad and like u it's 24/7 with Mum and it's hard but I'm glad I'm there as I try and encourage her to shower take her to the hairdressers and try and prompt her to do as much as poss. not always easy just depends on her mood but we can only try!

    Will keep posting take care to you both

    Jane
     
  5. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Hi Jane, just wanted to welcome you to TP.

    It's not easy, caring from a distance, particularly as you have young children. But you are doing your best, and that's all any of us can do.

    I'm glad to hear you're supporting your dad too. He's going to need more and more support as your mum's illness progresses.

    Has he got a support system set up? If not, perhaps that's something you could look at when you're down there -- although probably Easter's not the best time, they'll all be on holiday.

    If you need any advice on this, just post any questions you have, and someone will help.

    Best wishes,
     
  6. BeverleyY

    BeverleyY Registered User

    Jan 29, 2008
    716
    Ashford, Kent
    Hi Jane

    Welcome.

    You'll find TP useful and you'll get lots of support.

    Beverley x
     
  7. Nell

    Nell Registered User

    Aug 9, 2005
    1,170
    Australia
    Welcome to TP! It's a great place to get support, find answers to questions and let off steam! I wish for your sake you did not have to be ion this journey. However, as you ARE on it, TP is a wonderful support to us all. Wishing you all the best in the times ahead.
     

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