Hello There........

mums carer

Registered User
Jan 11, 2008
Like everyone else who posts here I have a problem today i could do with some perspective on! I shall try not to be too long winded! I care for my mum in my home and have done for the past 2 yrs. Most of the time we muddle along fine...she doesn't wander and her needs are few! She is quite happy most of the time in her own wee world and we have a daily routine which she doesn't care to vary...believe me I have tried! ;)
Last night when I went to put her light out and say goodnight she was sitting on the edge of her bed and the first thing she said to me when I went in was that she had lost a pair of pants and she'd need to find them before she got into bed! 15 mins later I eventually managed to persuade her that it wasn't important and they probably turn up by morning...however this morning we are still looking for this non exsistent item only its now become tissues or socks or in her own words...''I cant seem to tell you what it is I've lost. But I've definitely lost it!''
Again there at lunchtime her only worry was finding whatever it was she's lost!
When I again suggested that it was not important and could we please move on she became quite agitated.
I dont know that I've explained this very well but if anyone out there has experience of anything similar I would be pleased to hear how you coped with it!
Thanking you in anticipation. Alina xxxx

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
Hello Alina :)

My husband is always `losing` his wallet and his keys but at last I know what we`re looking for. Your mother obviously feels she has lost something, but perhaps has forgotten what she think she has lost.

When you mother originally said she`d lost a pair of pants, do you think she meant trousers pants or underwear pants? If she`s still looking by the time you read this, I have just one suggestion. It`s off the top of my head so I`ve no idea if it`ll work, but could you suddenly shout from another room, `I`ve found them. I`ll put them away for you.`

Sorry that`s the best I can do. I hope someone else might be able to suggest something better.

Love xx


Registered User
Mar 1, 2007
Melbourne, Australia
''I cant seem to tell you what it is I've lost. But I've definitely lost it!''
hi alina, I have no helpful suggestions, but it seems to me your mum may be referring to her mind rather than a possesion...
maybe not...you may never find what she is looking for.


Registered User
Sep 10, 2005
Hello Alina

I think Grannie G's idea is a good one. You could also try taking something into the room, be it pants, socks, anything and see here it is. If she can't remember what she's looking for, then I guess it won't matter what you give her, just that she's got something tangible.

Worth a try?

Take care - you sound like you're doing a great job.

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