Hello out there!

[Christine 47]

Greetings one and all,

I'd like to introduce myself to you and Talking Point. I've been browsing the site in recent weeks and have now signed up.

I'm Christine, retired 3 years and vintage 65- a good year!

My dear husband is 72 and retired at 65. Over recent years I have noticed changes that have caused me concern but over the past year they escalated to the point where we needed medical advice. It is now clear that he has a form of dementia/Altzheimers and is shortly going to have an MRI scan of the brain to assist diagnosis as well as a CT scan of his abdomen and below to check whether he may have additional medical issues.

After a consultation with the GP in late March, it was devastatingly clear to me that my husband's brain was 'misfiring' significantly and the 2 hr Memory Clinic interview last week confirmed this. Whilst I suppose I've known for some years that things were not right, I've been going through a lot of weeping, angry feelings and mental turmoil as I try to get my head around of the enormity of what is happening and what might lie ahead.

My husband is aware of things although happily seems less troubled, probably due to his condition and I certainly try to protect him from the full extent of my upset.

So in the months ahead, I look forward to drawing support and information from other members as well as giving what help I can too.

I'm very pleased that you're there. So far I have been especially helped by other members' experiences of their loved ones sleeping for prolonged periods and experiencing a state of perpetual exhaustion, which is truly life changing for us both.

"That's all, folks!"

Thank you, Christine 47

 

[Izzy]

Hi Christine and welcome to TP.

I'm sure you'll find lots of support and help here. Always a good place to have a rant if needed - there's always someone listening.

 

[LynneMcV]

Hi Christine, I am glad you have joined us - though not for the circumstances that have led you here.

I remember the mixed emotions I went through when my husband was diagnosed five years ago. In many ways it was a relief to have it confirmed that there was a medical reason behind all the strange behaviour I had witnessed building up over a few years. My husband accepted the diagnosis without argument or bitterness and we both agreed to live life as positively as we could from then on. That didn't stop me making a fool of myself and breaking down in tears on my first day back at work after the diagnosis - until then I had thought I was coping so well!

Looking back, I am glad I cried. It only happened the one time but I have received nothing but support from my colleagues ever since - and that, coupled with the fantastic advice and support I receive here, has seen me through all the ups and downs.

I can let off steam, rant and offload my worries without my husband being burdened by my emotions - he just gets the positive me and the only reason I have stayed positive is because of TP

 

[marionq]

Hello Christine, I hope you will find help and support here. There will be many phases and stages in this illness in the years ahead and you can be sure that someone on here will already have experienced them.

In the immediate future concentrate on all the practical stuff to get it out of the way eg POA for both of you for finance and health and welfare and get them registered immediately.. Get new wills drawn up and check that your house is owned for tenants in common to protect your half. Consider a separate bank account for yourself, as well as any joint account for household expenses that you want to hang on to.

I found it useful from the start to keep an A4 diary not only for the many appointments we had but to record changes and behaviours. I did this for several years but find now that I don't need to be so exacting as things have settled down.

I also recorded at the back of the diary the names, phone numbers and job titles of the many people who suddenly came into our lives eg NHS, social services, Alz groups, etc

This proved invaluable as I was overwhelmed with information for the first coup,e of years.

Best wishes.

 

[Christine 47]

Hi Izzy!

Hi Christine and welcome to TP.

I'm sure you'll find lots of support and help here. Always a good place to have a rant if needed - there's always someone listening.

Just a little thank you, Izzy. It's good to know there's folk out there! x

 

[Christine 47]

Thank you, Lynne.

Hi Christine, I am glad you have joined us - though not for the circumstances that have led you here.

I remember the mixed emotions I went through when my husband was diagnosed five years ago. In many ways it was a relief to have it confirmed that there was a medical reason behind all the strange behaviour I had witnessed building up over a few years. My husband accepted the diagnosis without argument or bitterness and we both agreed to live life as positively as we could from then on. That didn't stop me making a fool of myself and breaking down in tears on my first day back at work after the diagnosis - until then I had thought I was coping so well!

Looking back, I am glad I cried. It only happened the one time but I have received nothing but support from my colleagues ever since - and that, coupled with the fantastic advice and support I receive here, has seen me through all the ups and downs.

I can let off steam, rant and offload my worries without my husband being burdened by my emotions - he just gets the positive me and the only reason I have stayed positive is because of TP

Hello Lynne
I just wanted to thank you for your message, which certainly chimed with me. It's good to share! x

 

[Christine 47]

Thank you, Marion

Hello Christine, I hope you will find help and support here. There will be many phases and stages in this illness in the years ahead and you can be sure that someone on here will already have experienced them.

In the immediate future concentrate on all the practical stuff to get it out of the way eg POA for both of you for finance and health and welfare and get them registered immediately.. Get new wills drawn up and check that your house is owned for tenants in common to protect your half. Consider a separate bank account for yourself, as well as any joint account for household expenses that you want to hang on to.

I found it useful from the start to keep an A4 diary not only for the many appointments we had but to record changes and behaviours. I did this for several years but find now that I don't need to be so exacting as things have settled down.

I also recorded at the back of the diary the names, phone numbers and job titles of the many people who suddenly came into our lives eg NHS, social services, Alz groups, etc

This proved invaluable as I was overwhelmed with information for the first coup,e of years.

Best wishes.

Dear Marion,
That all sounds like very good advice. Some I have already initiated e.g. POA, finance, but the useful tips regarding a diary etc are very welcome and I'll start that now.

Being one of the organised of the species, I started an A4 manila folder for different items but it is already clear that it might get very fat very quickly!

I hope we'll meet on this site in the future. I'm not get in a routine with checking it and life is a bit higgledy piggeldy but I hope that perhaps things will stabilise into a routine so I can be consistent in communicating. Cheers for now x