1. Stimpfig

    Stimpfig Registered User

    Oct 15, 2005
    135
    Germany/India
    Hi everyone:)

    Managed to get mum all the way from Germany to India - flew British Airways and looking back, was lucky to have just about escaped the stringent security checks in the wake of the bomb scare. Can't imagine what it would have been like had we been caught up in that for it was quite a journey indeed on the 27th of July. Mum accused me of "killing" her on the plane and wanted me to "hand over the keys" so that she could go home. The dim lights in the aircraft did things to her, I guess. Then, in the loo, she was "pleased" to see her "friend" in the mirror and started a conversation even as she couldn't empty her bladder. Since we were sitting in a row of 3 seats, I had warned our English neighbour of my mum"s behaviour so he didn't mind at all when she sort of snatched a sandwich from his tray and put her used tissue in his. The stress of it all kept me from giggling. The nice assistants at Heathrow seem to know all about Alzheimer's Disease and were very helpful as I explained things before, after and during :eek:

    But that was exactly a month ago.

    And now, back in our old flat which mum had known before she came to live with me in Germany and after 4 weeks of "settling" down, mum seems to be near normal. I decided on a medicine holiday and she is actually doing fine. Doesn"t speak to her image in the mirror anymore: acknowledges visitors when they arrive and even has some decent conversation although she repeats herself: helps with peeling garlic and chopping veggies and has the presence of mind to say things like, "you have been of great service to me. I wish I had enough money to tip you generously for your services" - now that had me in splits.

    I have a housekeeper now - so that has given me the much needed respite . When I return, say, after a trip to the Bank, and ask the housekeeper if mum "behaved", mum tells her to tell me that she didn't and that there was actually a "battle" !

    Her appetite has improved and she is eating well which she hadn't been doing for over a year or so.

    She is beginning to 'remember' events; the sights and sounds are stimulating her memory. All this in spite of the brain scan that has shown atrophy of the cells.

    I have found some peace, at last, and am grateful for that. It has been a wonderful homecoming, shall I say to this 'Land of Miracles'. :D


    Thought I will report this positive development, fully aware that it might change overnight but am presently, counting my blessings.

    There is talk of setting up a branch of the Alzheimer's society in Bangalore, the city that I live in, and someone has asked me to be a part of it. In a country where child mortality, infectious diseases and cancer are priority, there is plenty to be done on the theme of Awareness of Alzherimer's disease.

    Thanks to all for your support and encouragement and advice since I joined . I shall keep logging in as and when I can - am yet to install a pc at home.

    For those going through a harrowing time, and from having been there myself, let me say don't lose heart - one never knows, things do change.

    Lots of love from India

    Sue Stimpfig
     
  2. Canadian Joanne

    Canadian Joanne Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 8, 2005
    16,137
    Toronto, Canada
    Welcome back

    Hi Sue,
    I was wondering just the other day where you had gone to.

    I'm so glad to hear Mum is doing well. Yes, it may only be temporary but make the most of it. I'm sure being back in her home town is a great help to her and to her mood.

    How is your life? What prompted the decision to move back to India? Are you only staying for a time? Yes, I'm nosy. Tell us all.

    Oh, and how is the baby your mother delivered? Or was it birthed??

    Much love,
    Joanne
     
  3. Lucille

    Lucille Registered User

    Sep 10, 2005
    542
    Dear Sue

    What a positive message for all of us. Despite the inauspicious start to your journey, it seems to have turned out well.

    Good luck to you and your mum and with helping raise awareness in Bangalore!

    Best wishes and I hope things continue to go well.:) :D
     
  4. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    5,379
    NW England
    Hope you don't mind that I had a giggle for you when I read your post - thanks so much for sharing that - and can't wait to hear more!!!!!

    I'm learning it's so important to recall the good, the giggly, to celebrate every moment we can......

    Much love to you and mum.....

    Karen, (TF), x
     
  5. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    How lovely to hear from you I was also wondeing where you got to what Courage you have to have done that journey .

    Yes please I would also love to know what prompted you ?

    Is this why ?

    So how long are you both staying ?
     
  6. Lynne

    Lynne Registered User

    Jun 3, 2005
    3,433
    Suffolk,England
    Hi Sue

    Just a quick line to add my own good wishes, and hope that your Mum continues to be in good spirits.

    I wonder if being back 'home' where most people around her are speaking in her native language is helping, if only temporarily?
     
  7. Stimpfig

    Stimpfig Registered User

    Oct 15, 2005
    135
    Germany/India
    The decline is evident

    Hello again

    Thanks to all those who responded - felt wonderful reading your messages. I realise yet again how much this web site had meant to me when I lived in Germany and how I miss being on it regularly in India.

    Now after the good news I posted on arrival, comes the bad news . Over the last 20 days, mum has turned doubly incontinent. I have had some stressful days again as she has become increasingly uncooperative . I even tried to set up a support group through the local newspapers but no luck. Guess I should keep at it. With all this globalisation consuming us here in India, values are changing and care-giving is hardly considered a lucrative profession among the local population. They would rather do cleaning jobs in the newly established international retail chains and malls. What's even more appalling is that care homes are not keen on taking patients with dementia as their "behaviour can be a nuisance to others". I do understand this as mum has a tendency to remove bedsheets and cushion covers when she is sundowning and if she were to do this in a home with other serious/bedridden patients, it would cause havoc. The homes here aren't geared up to handle such "cases" - hardly the option I looked forward to.

    Presently, short of setting up a home myself , I can't see a way out but then I am too burned out to even think of a venture of this magnitude.

    Thanks for listening again. What a cathartic effect this has - just to be in this virtual community who understand. I am really lucky.
     
  8. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,850
    Kent
    Hello Sue, what a surprise I had when I logged on to TP this morning. We fly to India Today. I have told the Airline of my husbands AD and I`m hoping for an uneventful flight.
    He was born in Bengal but we are going to Delhi. We went 2 years ago when the AD was there, but not diagnosed. He was confused, but still happy to use the language. All the group we were with were so impressed that he spoke so many Indian languages. It gave him a real boost to his morale.
    I`m sorry your mum has deteriorated so much. I know I`ve that to come, but am making the most of what little time we have left.
    All the best, to you and your Mum. Sylvia
     

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