Hello, new here...advice needed.


Registered User
Jul 27, 2007
Hi, I'm brand new to this site and am only posting out of desperation for my mum. My grandad (mums dad) suffers badly from vascular dementia and has done since my nan died about 4-5 years ago. He's got progressively worse and now he doesn't recognise his family, is violent and cannot care for himself. A few years ago his socila worker admited him to the hospital for a assessment, from there he we to a EMI unit (not nursing) from there he deteriorated and was readmited to hospital to have his condition and medication reviewed. From there he was sent back to EMI where they increase his medication which only made him zombie like, he couldn't talk, walk, eat and he even dribbled. From here he was sent back to the hospital for another review then sent back to EMI where he became too violent towards residents and staff. He was eventually sent back to hospital where he was then sent to another home (EMI) but this time nursing as he canot care very well to his self. My mum (out of 5 of his children and 13 of his grandchildren) is the only person to visit him and takes all responsibility for him. My mum works full-time and lives miles away from the home where he is. She is the only one that does ANYTHING for him and I can tell its starting to get her down. Today my mum recieved a phone call from the new EMI unit that he is in only to be told he had attacked two people (one resident and one member of staff) He attacked the resident with her own walking stick. He also wrecked the other residents belongings ect...He has become too much for this place and has been re-admited to hospital today. My mum is at her witts end and she does not know what is next. Everything seems to have been exhausted and she just broke down today. I've searched the internet to find out what is next but can't find a thing. Anny help at all would truley be appreciated. Thank you very much in advance. Anna


Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
SW Scotland
Hi Anna, welcome to TP.

You do sound to be in a desperate situation. I have so much sympathy for you and your mum. It is so unfair that none of the family is prepared to help you.

Have the doctors tried different medication on your grandad? There are so many drugs available now to control aggression, perhaps you should ask for an appointment to speak to the consultant to ask if there is anything else that can be done. They should be able to control him without turning him into a zombie.

You should also ring the Alzheimer Society helpline, someone there will be able to offer advice. The number is

0845 399 0336

I'm sorry I can't be of more help, please let us know how you get on.

Best wishes,


Registered User
Jul 27, 2007
Thank you very much for your advice. I'm not too sure about whether of not other medications have been tried, I know different dosages have. Another thing I didn't mention was that the nursing EMI unit have said that they can't keep a bed space open for my grandad as he is too aggresive. I will give the number a call that you left for me. Just wondered if you or anyone knew where would be the next option for my grandad to be resident after EMI is no longer an option. Thanks again.


Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
SW Scotland
As far as I know, if no EMI unit can be found to take him, they have to keep him in hospital until he is stabilised. That might give them an incentive to try different medication. They can't just throw him out.

What does the social worker say?


Registered User
Jun 27, 2006
While that EMI may no longer be suitable, that doesn't mean another facility might not be. I understand you want to keep him as close as possible but even in the local authority is paying for him, his placement doesn't need to be in their catchment area (although they might try to tell you different). It may be with appropriate medications that he would "fit" somewhere else - not every EMI is the same.


Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
I`m so sorry Anna that you are having so much worry over your grandfather.His treatment is clearly out of your control, and all you can do really, is leave it to the medics to try to stabilize his behaviour.

Once that has happened, you should have some say in his placement, or at least be consulted. I`m sure he can`t be placed somewhere inaccessible for visiting or somewhere you and your mother are unhappy with.

You and your mum should use this time to regain your strength so you`ll be fit to support him when the time comes.

Sorry I can`t offer more help. It really seems to be a wait and see time.

Take care xx


Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
Do you have a CPN or a mental heath social worker that you can talk to ?

I know not all EMI unit are the same , but they are dementia wards within a hospital and if they can't cope with him its up to them to find him another EMI unit , if they don't feel he can't be put in a Nursing home , that why I think its good to talk to someone from the mental heath team get a social worker within the mental health team , your grandfather should have one , if not tell them you want one altercated to his care and a CPN

They just can put the pursuer on your mother

that she has got to the point of
she just broke down today.
you got to tell them that CPN SW . put your foot down with who telling you about your father behavior , that his staying in EMI unit till they stabilize your grandfather behavior , do it for mother sake if she can't do it for herself
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Registered User
Jun 26, 2007
hang in there

Anna - my dad was very much like your grandad sounds, we had many interventions by the police for both wandering but more often for violence. My dad was eventually sectioned (mha s2) ) and kept in hospital where over the course of 5 weeks, during which we were forbidden to visit, they managed his aggresion using a drug regime - i never thought he would be able to be placed because he exibited violent arressive outbursts. But the drugs have worked, they did reduce him to a zombie like state for weeks but he is regaining his self and has lost almost all of his aggression and sexual inhabition. he is in a EMI nursing home and they have never (cross everything you have ) phoned me yet to complain he is settling in and regaining a degree of quality of life - i really never thought this would be possible as he was nasty (forgive me this but it is the reality)- but with the drugs Halipelidol and lorazipam and stopping his anti alzeimers drug he has stabilized - hang in there and talk to the consultant - if you get no joy from them demand a second opinion - take care and sorry about the spelling - dids

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