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Hello just sounding off

Nex

New member
May 20, 2022
2
0
Hi first post although been a voyeur to forum for many years. Today after looking after my partner for eight challenging years was the first time I actually sat downstairs and cried my heart out. My partner has PCA and it's been a struggle but like all of us as we carry on. Today was a climax of many things a new grandchild was one and E would have been a great grandma but missing out on so much also we were avid festival attendees and the season's just started and friends are so exited especially after lockdown. Not expecting solutions but just in the mood to let it out!
 

nellbelles

Volunteer Host
Nov 6, 2008
9,597
0
leicester
Hello @Nex welcome to DTP this is a safe and supportive forum so feel free to express yourself as needed.
I hope now you have posted you will continue to post for support and to share your experiences..
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
66,705
0
71
Dundee
Welcome to the forum @Nex.

I hope sharing how you feel has helped, even just a little. Keep posting. You’ll get lots of understanding and support here.
 

GillP

Registered User
Aug 11, 2021
1,450
0
@Nex , welcome. The life changes we undergo are huge and things do build up as we try to come to terms with this. I don’t know anything about PCA but others on here may be dealing with it.

You need to consider your needs as carer as well as those of your wife. I hope that yo get support from family and friends.

Take care and remember a good cry can be cathartic.
 

Lilac Blossom

Registered User
Oct 6, 2014
600
0
Scotland
Hello Nex - welcome to DTP

My husband (he died two years ago) developed PCA a number years after vascular dementia diagnosis. I'm really sorry to hear that your partner has PCA - it's truly devastating and I can understand the overwhelming sadness you feel . I learnt about PCA by reading an awful lot and found that it's a little known complication of vascular dementia.

I have not been able to talk to anyone about this till now - I understand and share your tears, Nex.
 

Desperatejan23

Registered User
Dec 27, 2021
64
0
Hi first post although been a voyeur to forum for many years. Today after looking after my partner for eight challenging years was the first time I actually sat downstairs and cried my heart out. My partner has PCA and it's been a struggle but like all of us as we carry on. Today was a climax of many things a new grandchild was one and E would have been a great grandma but missing out on so much also we were avid festival attendees and the season's just started and friends are so exited especially after lockdown. Not expecting solutions but just in the mood to let it out!
And this is the place to do it! We all have those days when it all becomes overwhelming and feels so unfair. I am at the beginning of this horrible journey and already I mourn what will not be. I see couples of our age enjoying holidays and weekends away and I know that that won't happen again for us. Not in the way it should have anyway. It's good to cry and let it all out sometimes. This group is really good for connecting to people in the same boat. Congratulations on the new grandchild!
 

Kas 0103

Registered User
Jan 12, 2022
32
0
Dear Nex, I am in a similar position to Desperate Jan in that my husband doesn’t have the same diagnosis as your wife, but we can still empathise with your situation. It’s no wonder you felt the need to cry, such an emotional time with the birth of your grandchild and the other trigger factors you mentioned. I actually came on here this morning to rail against my own stupidity: having invested in a couple of new beds with a super cool memory foam upper mattress, which arrived earlier than expected, I hadn’t bought a waterproof mattress protector… I made up the beds with new duvet and clean bedding and thought my husband would be ok, as he has only ever once had an accident actually in the bed. Sadly, tonight was the night of the second accident and I only have myself to blame! It’s good to know that our times of frustration can be shared and sometimes, just having written it down is catharsis enough. People on the forum are very kind and tolerant, so always know that there will be someone here prepared to share, listen or give the benefit of their advice, should you want that.
 

Nex

New member
May 20, 2022
2
0
Hi thank you very much for the kind and supportive responses. Unsure now why previously I felt reluctant to post on the site. Thanks again, feel more positive and sure this exchange contributed. Will certainly share again.