Hi,
I joined TP today as I guess I've not been doing so well for a while now. My mother was 'diagnosed' with vascular dementia around 3 years ago following years of depression, alcoholism and finally a series of suicide attempts which... we/they/I believe is where the series of mini subcortical strokes (small vessel disease) kicked in and she changed. Since then she has been in and out of psychiatric wards, nursing homes and thankfully now in a nice supported/ sheltered accommodation project. I think I have stuggled with all of this in different ways to my brothers (i suppose we all deal with things in our own way) ... but I have kept up a pretence that I am coping well as a strong, independent young man. But I'm not. I struggle with all this and with even the thought of asking for help (or even writing this now) I'm 26 and i'm angry that this has come to me already and that I may have decades of heartache to come! My mum is only 63. I suppose i could repeat the old line "why me?" I don't really ask that so much but i do look at my friends (some of them even still living at home!) with their healthy loving parents and think... I don't even remember that. All i seem to remember is my mum's depression, my brother's alcoholism and my Dad's departure (he left when I was 14) I'll never laugh along with my mum as i did . She was so sharp and very intelligent and now, when i go to see her every Sunday I sometimes have it all on not to repeat simple intructions, like i would with a child.
This is my life now (along with a maelstrom of other aspects) and I have to live with it. Apologies for my monologue! especially as a new member... (i could have/should have saved my rants!) I have read many other postings and know that my mum is not as severe, nor my/our problems as devastating as some i have read... but... this is me and my mum.
Thank you for reading (virtual listening!)
Andy
I joined TP today as I guess I've not been doing so well for a while now. My mother was 'diagnosed' with vascular dementia around 3 years ago following years of depression, alcoholism and finally a series of suicide attempts which... we/they/I believe is where the series of mini subcortical strokes (small vessel disease) kicked in and she changed. Since then she has been in and out of psychiatric wards, nursing homes and thankfully now in a nice supported/ sheltered accommodation project. I think I have stuggled with all of this in different ways to my brothers (i suppose we all deal with things in our own way) ... but I have kept up a pretence that I am coping well as a strong, independent young man. But I'm not. I struggle with all this and with even the thought of asking for help (or even writing this now) I'm 26 and i'm angry that this has come to me already and that I may have decades of heartache to come! My mum is only 63. I suppose i could repeat the old line "why me?" I don't really ask that so much but i do look at my friends (some of them even still living at home!) with their healthy loving parents and think... I don't even remember that. All i seem to remember is my mum's depression, my brother's alcoholism and my Dad's departure (he left when I was 14) I'll never laugh along with my mum as i did . She was so sharp and very intelligent and now, when i go to see her every Sunday I sometimes have it all on not to repeat simple intructions, like i would with a child.
This is my life now (along with a maelstrom of other aspects) and I have to live with it. Apologies for my monologue! especially as a new member... (i could have/should have saved my rants!) I have read many other postings and know that my mum is not as severe, nor my/our problems as devastating as some i have read... but... this is me and my mum.
Thank you for reading (virtual listening!)
Andy