1. Taffy

    Taffy Registered User

    Apr 15, 2007
    1,314
    Hello everyone, what a wonderful network of support you have. It's great to be able to share with others, that have an understanding of this miserable disease. Mum was diagnosed 7 years ago with alzheimers she is now 83 years old,dad doesn't have dementia but is in poor health. I am married and have a supportive hubby some how we have managed to keep mum at home but it has been exhausting work.We are very lucky that mum sleeps well at night and she doesn't wander,she is very restless of a day and into everything which is quite annoying as she is pretty clueless as to what things are used for.Somedays she is tired and sleeps alot,with her last annual assessment there was a significant deterioration in the score and this placed her in the beginning of the last stage of dementia. Mum at present is the easiest she has been to manage through out this whole journey, but I know it could all change, I think mum has to concentrate so hard now just to get through her day,if she gets agitated, she doesn't appear to be able to sustain it.Physically mum is showing signs of deterioration and mentally it is like she is programmed, her conversations are predictable as are most of her physical activities. I guess with the other stages of this disease I just learnt as it progressed and now, I just would like some insight into what could be ahead.Thanks for your time. Taffy
     
  2. DeborahBlythe

    DeborahBlythe Registered User

    Dec 1, 2006
    9,222
    Hello Taffy, welcome to TP and congratulations on having cared so well for your mum. Sometimes it may be better not to be too rigid about what will or will not happen. There are a lot of people on here whose relatives have been through very unsettling experiences, and yet there are, paradoxically, sometimes some things about dementia which are a 'plus'. Everyone is an individual and not all aspects of AD affect every person formally diagnosed with it.

    As an example of a 'bonus', when my mum used to get upset about something that had happened in the near or distant past , she would also then forget all about it quite soon afterwards. She has kept a sense of humour, a concern for others and a knowledge of her children.


    You don't say if you have any help with her care from external carers, but if you are trying to look after your mum, with your husband's help, I'm sure that external care will be important at some stage, if only to give you both some respite. Have you had your own neesd assessed, as your mum's main carer?

    I'm reluctant to list all the bad things that can or have happened. Maybe others will tell you, but today, for me, I'm saying 'take each day as it comes'. When you have specific problems, folks here will help you, for sure. xx
     
  3. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    #3 Margarita, Apr 17, 2007
    Last edited: Apr 17, 2007
    My mother sounds a bit like your mother stage.

    My mother is in her last stages for the last 2 years she needs help with washing herself for the last 2 years, but can go to the toilet her self, she had a drop in March 07 she sometime become incontinent, but she still aware and does not like wearing pads, and it only happen now then, so she still go to the toilet herself , also she is talking less , sleeping more and only wakes up when she wants to eat , still go to AZ daycentre that give her some motivation , then she talk a littlie more , but if I don’t prompt her to talk she won’t.

    My mother can stay on this level I feel for a long while, no one can really predict what the next stage is going to be or when its going to happen or what its going to be like, as every one with dementia is different, also because as like my mother she has been on last stage medication for AZ for the last 5 years

    Yes sounds like you have done a really good job in helping your mother and your father to live together at home. thanks for shareing
     
  4. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,850
    Kent
    Hello Taffy, welcome to TP from me too.

    I`d like to echo Deborah`s congratulations. However difficult it`s been to manage you mother`s symptoms of Alz., you seem to have done extremely well.

    I don`t think anyone can tell you what lies in store for her, everyone is so different. As you have done so well so far, I`d just try to take each day as it comes and do as you`ve been doing. It`s worked well so far.

    Does she have any day care? If not, that`s something you may wish to consider, to give you a break.

    Take care and keep in touch.
     
  5. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005
    18,972
    Derbyshire
    Just to say welcome and to assure you that there is a wealth of knowledge and support here. Your Mum sounds a bit similar to my husband - yes, it is hard but you are obviously handling the dementia wonderfully (remember that on the 'bad' days).
    Best wishes Beckyjan
     
  6. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Hi Taffy

    Welcome to TP.

    My husband was also diagnosed seven years ago, but his symptoms are different.
    It's his language that's affected, so he hasn't been able to read, write, understand speech, or say much that is intelligible for a number of years. I think he's also approaching the final stage, and it's very difficult to cope with him because he doesn't understand what I say. On the other hand, he doesn't get stroppy or aggressive. It's swings and roundabouts, and we can only be thankful for the 'good' bits!

    You've done so well to be able to look after your mum for this long. I'm sure you'll find lots of support here.

    Love,
     
  7. Taffy

    Taffy Registered User

    Apr 15, 2007
    1,314
    Thank You.

    Thankyou all so much for the welcome, your time advice and support. I really appreciate it. At present we have home help which consists of 1 & 1/2 hrs domestic help every two weeks and 3&1/2 hrs respite each week, this started last august. Recently I heard about a dementia support group and joined,they have been great and I'm waiting for a assessment for dad this could be a 3 month wait but not too worry, better late then never. I will keep you up-dated on what is offered to us, anything been a bonus. Mum's assessments are all up to-date even have necessary paper work just in case mum needs placement in nursing care. The geriatrician felt that this was a wise move and also thinks I should look into what's available and put mum on a few waiting lists.Thanks again. Taffy.
     
  8. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,850
    Kent
    Hi Taffy,

    i have to admire your spirit. You seem so `together` and are really getting the best for your parents.

    Mind you, when I read 1.1/2 hours domestic help every 2 weeks, I wasn`t exeactly bowled over by the generosity of the suppliers, but I suppose we have to be thankful for small mercies.

    Take care and keep in touch. Your posts are a breath of fresh air.
     
  9. DickG

    DickG Registered User

    Feb 26, 2006
    558
    Stow-on-the-Wold
    Hi Taffy

    Welcome you have done so well for the past seven years so don't look ahead, be thankful for what you have done up to now.

    Compared to other TPers I have had an easier, not easy, ride and I will not look beyond today because I might not like what I see. I have no control over what will happen in the future and I do not wish to contemplate the future, it will only ruin the present.

    Get all the help you can and stay strong.

    Hugs

    Dick
     

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