1. patsy56

    patsy56 Registered User

    Jan 14, 2015
    840
    Fife Scotland
    wasn't sure where to post this, but things were fine for a while Mater just doing away as was OH, but it seems to be with the darker nights both have deteriorated badly. I am in the process of finishing up at work to become a full time carer for OH.

    Those anti depressants really f'd him up and we are just beginning to settle down again.

    Anyway just to say the bad penny has returned.
     
  2. LadyA

    LadyA Registered User

    Oct 19, 2009
    13,517
    Ireland
    Not sure whether to say welcome back, or sympathise that you have felt the need for the TP!

    Being a full time carer can be so rewarding in many ways, but also one of the most isolating, frustrating and exhausting experiences. So try and get all the support you can.
     
  3. patsy56

    patsy56 Registered User

    Jan 14, 2015
    840
    Fife Scotland
    I think that is why I'm back to have friends here I can relate too. At the moment most people just shy away. but thank you for your thoughts and good wishes.
     
  4. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,531
    Female
    South coast
    Hello Patsy, nice to "see" you again, although I wish it were under better circumstances.
     
  5. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,739
    hello you must be shattered! Nice to meet you and thinking of you x
     
  6. Lavender45

    Lavender45 Registered User

    Jun 7, 2015
    1,598
    Liverpool
    At the moment most people just shy away. but thank you for your thoughts and good wishes.[/QUOTE]

    That's what's really good about talking point, everyone understands just how tough things can be. Its absolutely invaluable.

    Lady A is right full-time caring can be very isolating, you can be so submerged in caring that your own needs, like any sort of social life just seem to slip away whilst your not looking, but at least you know there are always friends on here who never judge.
     
  7. patsy56

    patsy56 Registered User

    Jan 14, 2015
    840
    Fife Scotland
    Thank you everyone, I don't tend to brood, I will do my duties and when he is asleep will be here or on other social media sites.

    I thank you all again.
     
  8. patsy56

    patsy56 Registered User

    Jan 14, 2015
    840
    Fife Scotland
    back again

    Just want't to say that RL has been a tad hectic since I gave up work to look after OH. He now seems to be getting dementia but will see when we go to Parkinson's Clinic in a couple of weeks.

    But, the main thing is mother has got so bad that last week she fell, and has been in hospital. She had an infection, which seems to have cleared, but we now have the "When can I go home". Everyone has said nicely when you are better, but I said you are going into a home to convalence... but she isn't. She has now become doubly incontinent and when I was at hospital yesterday, she soiled herself. I threw out the trousers she needs new anyway.

    Cutting lonnggg story short she will be going in a home near me shortly.

    Am I sad? am I happy? She needs help professional 24hr help so going in best place.

    Must try to come here more often.

    And thank you talking point for all the help over the past year, understanding this illness.
     
  9. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    8,020
    Yorkshire
    Hi patsy56
    bit of a mixed bag of news
    your mother needs the 24 hour support she'll get in the care home - and it's good that it's near you
    I think the "Am I sad? am I happy?" pretty much sums up the feelings when it's time for the move into a care home; all feelings up in the air and questionable
    I hope the outcome at the clinic for your OH is as good as it can be
    best wishes to you all
     
  10. patsy56

    patsy56 Registered User

    Jan 14, 2015
    840
    Fife Scotland
    Thank you, even if he does end up with dementia I at least have been learning how to cope better.
     
  11. patsy56

    patsy56 Registered User

    Jan 14, 2015
    840
    Fife Scotland
    Hi, much has passed since I was last on.

    mother fell mid July and ended up in hospital, she had an infection...well long story short she is now in a home near me. Atleast I can visit her everyday if I wanted, but no twicew a week fine and for 1/2hr.

    Its OH who has become a pain. Just since mother has been in the home he has stated saying things like "I am always going out". I don't look after him or the house properly. I went out to see mum today he did some dusting..."I don't dust or do housework" (yeah like in your dreams)

    Now he wants me to paint the living room as when he was dusting picture fell off wall. I know I have the bedroom to decorate as we had a leak in the roof.

    We also got new windows in the kitchen and the window frames need painting...Like when are you going to do them.

    He hasn't heard of carers breakdown has he.?

    Well I'll just tell him sometimes the carer kills herself and sometimes the carer kill the one getting cared for.

    sorry for the rant but crying now.

    Oh and when the summer was here I did all the gardening. Cutting hedges back.
     
  12. Louby65

    Louby65 Registered User

    Mar 26, 2014
    620
    Scotland
    Hello patsy56, I can sense your utter exhaustion from reading your posts . Please look after yourself , I know it's hard and I completely empathise with you as I know how tiring this life of caring is . I maybe should practise what I preach but having just read your post I want to say you are doing a great job and what you are doing is so worthwhile but I know how frustrating it can be and how it clouds our way of thinking and reactions , especially when we are so tired and unappreciated at times . Look after yourself . Best wishes , Lou
     
  13. Kjn

    Kjn Registered User

    Jul 27, 2013
    5,835
    Patsy...sounds like me n my OH :D
     
  14. patsy56

    patsy56 Registered User

    Jan 14, 2015
    840
    Fife Scotland
    Lou thank you
     
  15. patsy56

    patsy56 Registered User

    Jan 14, 2015
    840
    Fife Scotland
    Back again but this time OH

    Since I was last in here things have changed dramatically. Mother is settling into the home, but it is now OH who is starting.
    Since the beginning of the year we have now Nocturia, he started to fall during the night so we now have a walking frame, and we use pads, (fed up washing the bedding).
    Last night he was really nasty to me and said some hurtful things. I now realise that his Parkinson's is venturing into the realms of LBD... today he has a cough and his speech slurred. Told him that was the way mother ended up in hospital with UTI.
    Anyway enough of me just now, but I do need the link for incontinence pads how to get Scotland.
     
  16. cragmaid

    cragmaid Registered User

    Oct 18, 2010
    7,963
    North East England
    Hi, welcome back.... You should be able to get assistance from your GP practice, but I googled Incontinence service in Fife ( Love Fife, BTW....:D) and got this address :-


    NHS Fife

    Rosewell Clinic

    2 Ballingry Road

    Lochore KY5 8ET

    Tel - 01592 869924



    Take care.x.
     
  17. patsy56

    patsy56 Registered User

    Jan 14, 2015
    840
    Fife Scotland
    Thank you, yes will ask at his Parkinson's clinic and will chat with GP next week.
     
  18. LadyA

    LadyA Registered User

    Oct 19, 2009
    13,517
    Ireland
    Can't help with that I'm afraid. Possibly Izzy might know.
    Meanwhile, have you got washable bed protectors? I used ones from complete are shopping.co.uk. They could be hot washed. The important thing is not to use fabric conditioner when washing them though, as it stops them from absorbing liquid! Also I found putting a single size one lengthwise under my husband worked better than putting it across the bed. Is it Parkinson's Dementia your husband has?
     
  19. patsy56

    patsy56 Registered User

    Jan 14, 2015
    840
    Fife Scotland
    Long time no see...

    Hi, I am sorry not been around for ages but things had settled down a bit here on the mother front, that was until yesterday, she was complaining about everything the home included.

    I'm not sure whether to believe the stories she is telling. Says she hasn't had breakfast, but seems she had two...

    A bad thing one night she wanted to go to the toilet and the night staff said they would not take her at 11.30pm so she wet the bed...still waiting outcome from home.

    She accused me of stealing her watch, mine is similar, and on friday there I'm sure she looked at me as if she didn't know who I was.

    The really bad thing she likes long nails and we have found out , sister and me that she is using her fingers to remove her poo from her bottom, and then of course her anus is sore.

    On the husband front, he is getting worse with the Parkinson's and now is up nearly every two hours for a pee, and we have little accidents...he has started to wear a pad when he feels like it.

    Apart from all this I'm doing ok I suppose, but I do get lonely and I cry more.
     
  20. Louby65

    Louby65 Registered User

    Mar 26, 2014
    620
    Scotland
    Oh patsy , please accept this very big virtual hug ({}) . Sometimes we just want to scream and say ' hold the bus , I want to get off' . That's awful about your poor mum not being taken to the toilet , I hope you get some answers soon as to why that happened . As for hurting herself while trying to manually evacuate her bowels , it can be quite common. Keeping nails as short as possible is one of the solutions I'm sure you have thought about . Hopefully the care home are ensuring she drinks plenty and has enough fibre etc in her diet which should hopefully avoid constipation . Your mum might benefit from a stool softener that her GP may prescribe . There is medication also that may help your husband with his nocturia , that the GP may prescribe . The night time disturbances will be playing havoc on both your health . Please also look into your needs , are you getting any support ? It really is a lonely journey at times but I know many people get a carers assessment done and can get some respite , which I'm sure you need . Whose looking out for you? You know you will always get a listening ear on TP. Please keep in touch and let us know how you get on . Best wishes , Lou x
     

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