1. Cazza

    Cazza Registered User

    Nov 21, 2004
    1
    Salford
    Hi Everyone. This is my first post and I just wanted some advice. Mum was diagnosed with AD some 4 years ago and for the last few months has been getting into my bed at all times of the night and morning and I can't seem to stop it. Weekends arn't a problem but I work full time and mum tends to get in my bed between 4 and 5 and then keeps me awake by continuing to ask me when we are getting up. I am a lone carer so don't have anyone else who can share the caring which I accept and most of the time we get on fine but it would be nice to have a lie in once in a while. The latest I get up is usually 8.00 and thats a lie in. Mum tends to nap in the day a lot which I have tried to stop but she gets a bit nowty with me. She is on anti-depressants and sulphoride but due to start aricet (not sure I have spelt that right) next week... will that help ? On a lighter note we have a pet budgie called Peter and mum is now convinced Peter will get the flu (after the recent news reports) I have reassured her that Peter will be fine but we have the lem sips on standby. I have read a lot of the notices and its reassuring to know that I am not alone in my caring role.
     
  2. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    2,259
    West Sussex
    Hi Cazza and welcome to TP. Perhaps your Mum is behaving this way because she feels "safe" with you, like a small child kinda thing? Could you perhaps reassure her that you will come to her when it is time to get up, give her a big hug and then quietly but firmly settle her back in her own bed? Thats what I used to do with my Mum. As I am married, I don't think my hubby would have taken too kindly to having my Mum climb in, although she did try and was often giving me a start by shaking me awake etc in the wee small hours. Also, if you live in a house, now might be a good time to install a safety gate at the top of the stairs. We found this a really good investment as it saved the worry of Mum taking a tumble. Set it a little higher than for a child. We also put a towel the same colour as the walls over it so it looked solid and put a cycle chain with a numbered padlock on it so there was no way she could undo it. It may sound dramatic, but it meant she could prowl around without coming to harm. (She used to spend time packing a lot at night too. I left a suitcase at the bottom of her bed so she packed things without cramming them into her bag etc in the end.) We also set the heat in the taps to a safe temperature in the bathroom, put dawn to dusk nightlights everywhere and installed a baby alarm. It all meant I didn't always have to get actually out of bed. It's the getting up that wakes you the most I found. Hope these suggestions help a bit. Please keep posting, love She. XX
     
  3. Norman

    Norman Registered User

    Oct 9, 2003
    4,348
    Birmingham Hades
    Hi Cazza
    Sheila has given you some advice and tips,so I cannot add much more.
    The tablets you describe are Aricept and there is 5 mg and 10 mg.
    I don't think they would affect Mum's sleeping habits but they should help with the memory problems.
    Do you go to bed early? Could you keep Mum up later that she would sleep longer?
    Post when you need
    Best Wishes
    Norman
     
  4. Stimpfig

    Stimpfig Registered User

    Oct 15, 2005
    135
    Germany/India
    Hi Cazza

    I thought my mum was the only one who 'climbed' into my/our bed. Usually my husband (when he is there and not travelling) jokes cheerfully asking if everything is in order and under control - she sits around for a while or even lies down but goes back to her bed again and then after a while, she returns and it's the same procedure again. It's usually in the early hours and so we believe we do not need any alarm clock! As I mentioned in some other thread, I think their need for feelings of security is overwhelming. I personally found it easier to cope with this knowledge in mind.

    Don't forget to take care of yourself.

    Sue Stimpfig
     
  5. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    9,519
    Frinton-on-Sea
    Hi Cazza and welcome. It isn't a problem I have encountered, but realise our loved ones do need more reassurance than most. Sheila seems to have covered most aspects in her post, do hope you found them helpful. Take care of yourself, and post whenever you feel the need. Someone out there has usually encountered what you are going through and can help. Connie
     
  6. jc141265

    jc141265 Registered User

    Sep 16, 2005
    836
    Australia
    Advice and warning

    Cazza,

    Your problem is a problem we encountered and it became one of our biggest problems. Sorry don't mean to scare, but just want to make sure you know that if you can't manage it, you are not alone and should seek further help.

    Dad would do the same thing as your Mum, to my mum or whoever was sleeping in bed. I put it down to a chemical imbalance or childish lack of self control and selfishness (not saying your mum or my dad are bad people its just what the disease can reduce us to) because I know I can be a right pain in the ash when I am hormonal and don't like others to sleep while I am awake and feeling lonely.

    The reason it became a big problem for us is because it led to any carer of Dad suffering from extreme sleep deprivation. And the human body cannot function rationally let alone care for someone else when it is sleep deprived. We tried encouraging Dad not to do it, then we tried in desparation locking him out the bedroom once he was up but even if he wasn't banging on the door, you can't sleep because you lie there worrying what they might be doing unsupervised. Eventually we had to resort to drugs that would encourage sleep with Dad prescribed by the doctor and given to him after dinner at night. They didn't seem to work at first but eventually he started sleeping more and not disturbing those who were sleeping. Not sure if it was the drug though and suspect perhaps he had just slipped into the next phase of the disease where he wasn't so focused on those around him??

    Good luck and as I said seek further help if the problem doesn't stop. Too often people are hard on themselves saying, 'Its only a little sleep.', I should be able to cope, but i cannot say enough sleep is vital especiallly when you are dealing with the high stress loads this experience brings. My mum finally recognised that it was a real problem when she found herself screaming and yelling at Dad and threatening him. The doctor took him away from her for a week and she was not allowed to see him. That meant a week locked in a psych ward all alone for Dad (though I was allowed to visit him) and was very very traumatic for all of us. Don't let yourself get to this point. I know you probably think its not possible, but its shocking what a lack of sleep can make people do.

    My thoughts are with you,
     

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