My mum collapsed at home about 5 years ago. She was paralysed down her left side, could see double and her voice was slurred. However nothing was diagnosed - when I asked about a stroke a few days later they said it was too late to tell. Physically mum recovered but when she left the hospital I realised that she wasnt the same person. Since then we have gone through stages - mum tends to find a level which we adapt to and then suddenly this goes down again. My mum lives on her own and at the moment copes well - I am there to fill the holes - go to the doctors, sort out pills, do a bit of shopping but most of all give her support when she is upset about losing something or is frustrated by her loss of memory. We are now at the stage where mum rings me up sometimes in the middle of night to ask me when im coming home. I have to try to bring her back to the present time by reminding her that I am forty and married with two children. At the moment this is working but I know one day I will lose her to the past. This really upsets me and I think of how frightening this must be for mum to be all alone wondering where her family have gone. I am the youngest of four sisters and have always been close to my mum. I also live the nearest about a ten minute drive away. The eldest sister is really good she tries to come up once a week to do a few jobs and see mum - we talk on the phone and she is very supportive. However the other two have completely isolated me. They visit mum when it suits them and just turn up unexpected. This upsets mum because she worries about meals for them etc. I went out with my family one sunday and one of my sisters visited. My mum had a fall and couldnt move her arm and my sister didnt even tell me about it! I found out when I went to mums the next day and had to ring my sister to get information so I could tell the GP. I put the phone down on her because I was so mad . Then she came and stayed with mum for a week and completely took over and the other one ( who cant cope with mum like this) came up to visit. I knew though that when all the dust had settled they would dissapear again and guess what - they have! The GP has referred mum and we are trying to build up a support network. Mum wont accept any help which is a bit of a problem - only from family - which is another problem!!! I spoke to my sister ( the one that cant cope ) but she told me that she has got a life and its just unfortunate that I live so close! The other one takes mum out for the day occassionally and well thats her job done. How on earth can we support mum in her own home if nobody will give a bit of input? I wouldnt mind but one of them has no job and no kids and is only 40 mins away! I have two kids of 5 and 13 and I am doing a degree and I go to mums nearly every day! At the moment I am off for the summer so I have got the time to give mum but when I start back in September I could really do with a bit of support - also they dont seem to understand that mum will deteriorate as time goes on and we really need to pull together now. Sorry i am moaning and going on about me when I should be talking about mum - am I being unreasonable and selfish? Am I doing something wrong? Why are my family being so nasty when I am doing my best? We used to be so close and now they dont even talk to me. Dont they realise that I find it hard too - I see her nearly every day and speak to her on the phone everyday (sometimes more if shes lost something!) but even so I still miss her.