Hello I am a newbie

[Carole C]

Hello my name is Carole and my Mum has dementia. I need a place to chat and try and understand a bit more about dementia.
My Mum has been going down hill for about 5 years. She broke her hip last year but recovered then a few months later fell again and broke her knee and ankle. She is 85 and now in a home. I feel very sad as I have had to sell her house to pay for the home and everyday she asks me when is she going home. The practical side of me knows I have done the right thing but when I see her little face, I just want to scoop her up and take her home.
She suffers grief, she gets upset, feels depressed and cries a lot. I feel helpless. She also suffers from hallucations. When she sleeps during the day, she sometimes wakes up confused and thinks she is in a basement and has been kidnapped! It takes a lot of work and reassurance that she is safe and OK. She thinks the home is a hospital. I have been advised not to tell her about the sale of the house as it would hurt too much. I do understand that. She has been prescribed Lorazepan to help keep her calm.
She remembers the past but day to day even hour to hour is hard for her to remember and she gets scared about it.
I suppose I am describing typical dementia? As I don't really understand and realise every case is different, I just wanted to get some advice. I am meeting the GP tomorrow at the care home to see if they have any advice.
As an individual I am grieving losing my lovely mum. I still see glimpse of the mum I use to know but dementia has robbed me of my lovely mum .

thanks for letting me share .

 

[karaokePete]

Hello @Carole C, you are welcome here and I hope you find the forum a friendly and supportive place.
Have a good look around the site as it is a goldmine for information, esp., the Publications list that can be found with this link https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/publications-factsheets-full-list

You are indeed describing common dementia symptoms but if you have any specific questions just ask away as the membership is a very experienced and knowledgeable group.

 

[Jezzer]

Hello my name is Carole and my Mum has dementia. I need a place to chat and try and understand a bit more about dementia.
My Mum has been going down hill for about 5 years. She broke her hip last year but recovered then a few months later fell again and broke her knee and ankle. She is 85 and now in a home. I feel very sad as I have had to sell her house to pay for the home and everyday she asks me when is she going home. The practical side of me knows I have done the right thing but when I see her little face, I just want to scoop her up and take her home.
She suffers grief, she gets upset, feels depressed and cries a lot. I feel helpless. She also suffers from hallucations. When she sleeps during the day, she sometimes wakes up confused and thinks she is in a basement and has been kidnapped! It takes a lot of work and reassurance that she is safe and OK. She thinks the home is a hospital. I have been advised not to tell her about the sale of the house as it would hurt too much. I do understand that. She has been prescribed Lorazepan to help keep her calm.
She remembers the past but day to day even hour to hour is hard for her to remember and she gets scared about it.
I suppose I am describing typical dementia? As I don't really understand and realise every case is different, I just wanted to get some advice. I am meeting the GP tomorrow at the care home to see if they have any advice.
As an individual I am grieving losing my lovely mum. I still see glimpse of the mum I use to know but dementia has robbed me of my lovely mum .

thanks for letting me share .

Hello @Carole C and welcome. I am sorry to read about your mum and understand how distressing this is for you. My mum has been in a nursing home for almost two and a half years now. It is so upsetting when you visit and find your mum in a distressed state. I think we all feel very sad when our loved ones have to go into care but as awful as we feel, we know it really is the only option. I have often said exactly what you stated about your mum and wanting to"scoop her up and take her home". I've felt like that many a time. I agree with the advice you've been given about not mentioning the sale of your mum's home. You are clearly a loving daughter who wants the best for your precious mum. I have found Talking Point invaluable and I am sure other members will be in touch with you. There is genuine care and support here. Quite often, members just need to "vent" and that's OK too! I hope you'll explore the site and that TP helps you as much as it helps me. Jan.