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hello! I am a carer for my Dad (77)


Registered User
Mar 31, 2015
Hi, I live in Bristol and am currently waiting for a diagnosis for my father who had problems since 2011 when he had a scan showing damage to memory part of his brain. He seems to be getting progressively worse and we have to wait till June to see a specialist to review the scan he had in January.
He is ok to talk to on a family basis and has good and bad days. Sometimes he forgets words and wanders, gets aggressive. He is confused on a daily basis and we had to stop him driving a few months ago.
Is this a similar experience's to others?
I feel stuck in limbo because he could have medication once diagnosed, but we keep getting referred on all the time.
I'm 41 and trying to understand how best to support my mum in caring for him .
If you made it this far, thank you for reading!


Registered User
May 21, 2014
Hi brixx, and welcome to TP. Medication is not the be all and end all, but a diagnosis might open more doors to access support. It seems absolutely absurd to have to wait 6 months to evaluate a scan! I am not sure whether you need a diagnosis for this but on the financial side he could apply for Attendance Allowance and once obtained, for council tax exemption on the grounds of severe mental impairment. You could get in touch with the Alzheimer's Society and attend their coffee club and Singing for the Brain, with Age UK for possible sitting service and the Carers Centre for general support. In fact, contact any of them now and see whether they could act as an advocate with whoever is dragging their feet at the moment! You should ask Social Services for a needs assessment for your dad and a carers assessment for your mum, that could identify further areas for help. These could be memory/tracker gadgets via telecare, grab rails etc via the OT or day centre and respite.

Good luck!
Last edited:


Registered User
Mar 31, 2015
Hi, thanks for your advice. I've spoken to Alzheimer's society and they are helping with a lot of things, but can't do anything until we get a diagnosis. I think there had been a muck up as we got a letter which appeared to be for the neurologist and when we phoned she didn't have dad on her referrals list. I shall look into advocacy I think, if 6 months is a long time. We have been going to doctors since 2011 but keep getting passed around as there is no continuity of care. Mum doesn't want social services involved. But I might pop along to the memory cafes myself and see what is out there.

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