1. usalori

    usalori Registered User

    Mar 31, 2008
    9
    Ohio USA
    Hi All,

    I just happened across this forum and I cannot believe how many similarities so many of us have in caring for our loved ones with dementia. Just knowing that there are others out there who know what it's like is so comforting.

    Mom, who is 65, had a hemorragic (sp?) stroke last May due to kidney failure. She has been in and out of hospitals and NH and rehab since then with kidney failures, a seizure from which she had to be rescusitated, and drug-resistant infections caused by the tubes in her kidneys. After her initial stroke, she was in a coma for about 2 weeks and when she finally awoke, we were hopeful that we'd get her brain functioning back with therapy and rehab. But the series of kidney failures and seizure have apparently sent her into a form of dementia that is only getting worse. It has taken this long to get the diagnosis. Now she is in an assisted living facility and like so many of you have posted, she has her lucid moments which really make me question whether we've done the right thing. She's fallen and broken her hip and is confused much of the time, angry much of the time, weepy much of the time, and lucid many times and back to almost her "old" self. She has no short-term memory whatsoever and is unable to care for herself in the least.

    It is an incredible cruel and painful process to watch this disease take my Mom away and turn her into a shell of the vibrant, happy, loving person she once was. It is a true relief to find so many others here who are going through the same experiences with their loved ones.

    I look forward to talking to you all through these posts.

    Lori
     
  2. christine_batch

    christine_batch Registered User

    Jul 31, 2007
    3,388
    Buckinghamshire
    Hi Lori,
    Welcome to Talking Point.
    It is so destressing when we read of a loved ones herrendous illness.
    Although there are so many different experiences, here on Talking Point everyone have their own worries, questions etc., but we all try to help each other.
    My husband was diagnoised at 58 and he is now 61 in the last stage in a E.M.I. Unit.
    We can only do what we think is best for our loved ones.
    Hopefully, you will receive plenty of help and support here for your Mother.
    More people will come on line to welcome you
    Best wishes
    Christine
     
  3. CraigC

    CraigC Registered User

    Mar 21, 2003
    6,630
    London
    Hi Lori,

    Welcome to Talking Point and glad you found us!

    The lucid moments are what keep me going some days but can see where you are coming from about these moments making you wonder if you've done the right thing. It is almost like going back in time for a moment.

    Kind Regards
    Craig
     
  4. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Hi Lori, welcome to TP.

    Your mum has had a very tough time, especially as she's so young. She's lucky she has you to care for her.

    Please join in wherever you can, you'll find lots of friendship and support here.

    Best wishes,
     
  5. Mameeskye

    Mameeskye Registered User

    Aug 9, 2007
    1,669
    NZ
    HI Lori

    Welcome. TP makes you feel "normal" whatever that is as you can chat about the problems with people who understand.

    Your Mum has had a rough time which no doubt means that you have too! Dementia is such a difficult illness to deal with when you see the lucid times. It is funny but thay can be the most distressing times too.

    Mameeskye
     
  6. usalori

    usalori Registered User

    Mar 31, 2008
    9
    Ohio USA
    Wow, everyone, thanks so much for the warm welcome!! I am glad I found you too.
     
  7. mollieblue

    mollieblue Registered User

    May 16, 2007
    37
    belfast
    Welcome Lori,
    Yes it is a relief to know that the wide range of feelings and emotional you feel as you go through this process are all "normal", that as you share how you feel there will be many people who will respond and say they've felt the same! It really does help sometimes just to know that you're not going mad, not a bad daughter if you feel you can't cope - you're just human like all of us. The guilt is a nightmare - I'm still not coping well with that one.
    the advise and support is great on this forum. feel free to post again soon. ann x
     
  8. Margaret W

    Margaret W Registered User

    Apr 28, 2007
    3,725
    North Derbyshire
    Hi Lori

    Welcome on board. You are doing the best you can. All of us here will help you, so keep posting.

    Best wishes

    Margaret
     
  9. usalori

    usalori Registered User

    Mar 31, 2008
    9
    Ohio USA
    Thanks so much, Ann & Margaret. Ann, you hit the nail right on the head with the big "G" word. The guilt...it is the hardest thing to deal with in all of this.
     

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