Hello from a new member

[geniemum]

Hello all. I came across this facility via my local councils website. I'm a part-time carer for Mum and Dad both in their 80s..they live independently but I visit frequently, am in the process of getting LPOA, and, of course, am on alert all the time. Mum has Vascular dementia following 2 strokes and it is rapidly gotten worse in the last 6 months particularly. Dad has Parkinsons but of slow-progression and he still drives. His memory isn't great but compared to Mum it's first class!
I'm hoping to come on here and vent my worries, ask my questions and eventually offer help to others. This forum is just what I've been looking for as my brothers don't seem to think Mums that bad and i believe they think I'm exaggerating. My husband tries to understand......!
I've spent a while looking at other threads and from what ive read, i am a little scared of what might lay in front of us as my parents become frailer.

 

[Shedrech]

Hi geniemum
welcome to TP - you've found a fantastic place to chat over whatever is on your mind with a bunch of helpful and sympathetic people
good to know that your council's website is signposting TP
as you're reading around the threads already you'll see that much of what you've written is familiar - so I hope that knowing you're not alone in this 'journey' will help you
it can get a bit scary at times - just take each day at a time and make the most of it
I think you're wise to be getting your parents to organise their affairs; makes things easier in the future, and helps settle your mind to know that things are in place
best wishes

 

[chris53]

Good afternoon geniemum, a warm welcome to you to Talking Point, hope we can be of help as and when needed,tons of support and above all understanding as we "go into battle" with dementia yep thinking of what the future holds when we are a carer is very scary so you can only take each day or new challenge when it appears, everything has been covered on here and we try just to give our experience of any situation,sometimes it's the easy simple things that can help,above all please take care of yourself so many of us end up totally frazzled and worn out,and some of the time other family members or friends do find it hard to get to grips with the ever changing problems a carer can experience usually at a moment notice!
Look forward to seeing you around,take care
Chris

 

[Risa]

Hi geniemum and welcome

This is a lovely place to come to - I have learnt so much which has definitely helped my family in caring for Mum a lot better

 

[marionq]

Don't be scared. Be prepared. Start by checking that all the basics are in place. Attendance Allowance which is not means tested and which you can get help to fill in from Alz Soc or Age UK etc. Council tax reduction. Your parents shouldn't pay any at all. Care assessment to see what help they are entitled to. Medication reviewed regularly and day care or respite if needed and wanted. Your Dad would probably enjoy a day centre to give him company and do activities.

 

[Quilty]

Hello and welcome. You will be listened to and understood here. My best advice is to take each day as it comes and solve problems as they happen. I worried myself sick thinking about the future. It was pointless as it never happened that way. Also try not to argue with them. Its pointless. Smile! Your mum will read your body language. Love quilty