1. Expert Q&A: Benefits - Weds 23 October, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of benefits. It will be hosted by Lauren from our Knowledge Services team. She'll be answering your questions on Wednesday 23 October between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

  1. sunflowers12

    sunflowers12 New member

    Aug 20, 2019
    3
    #1 sunflowers12, Aug 20, 2019
    Last edited: Aug 20, 2019
    I am so happy to have found this forum. My ninety-six year old Aunt is in memory care and assisted living community center. She always tells me she hates it there. I have her car and she was told to not drive any longer because of bad eyes. Then she had a stroke and lost the use of her right hand. She thinks she is just fine and wants to have me bring her car to the facility and leave it there for her. Now I realize she can't drive her car any longer. But I don't know what to do. I do have Power Of Attorney with her. Do I bring her car to her and tell the facility what is going on and communicate with the local police department? I cannot have her get behind the wheel for her safety and for others safety. She seems to think that she is just fine and only had a small stroke. She has not been told she has dementia but it is progressing each and every day. She thinks people are trying to poison her and steal her clothing. Any suggestions as to how to proceed?
     
  2. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    8,042
    Yorkshire
    hello @sunflowers12
    a warm welcome to DTP ... I'm glad you've joined this supportive communith

    gosh your aunt has a lot to contend with ... which, of course, means you have too

    personally, I wouldn't let your aunt anywhere near her car, it won't stop at that, she'll want to try driving and that's a risk too far .. also, letting her see it will reinforce her desire to see it again, not giving her the chance to slowly let it slip from her mind

    I'd make up an excuse why you can't bring it eg ' so sorry aunt, I took it for its MOT and it failed, it needs a part and they've had to send off for it, I'll tell you when it's arrived' then distract ... every time she asks, use exactly the same excuse, same words, no explanation, no discussion ... if she doesn't mention it, don't bring it up ... good luck
     
  3. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,549
    Female
    South coast
    Hello @sunflowers12
    I wouldnt take the car round for her to see either - if you do that her obsession with driving will get much worse because she doesnt understand why she cant drive and you wont be able to explain it to her. Just leave the car where it is and come up with some excuse why you cant bring it. "It wouldnt start, so I had to get the garage to take it away for repairs"
    These repairs can take a long time too ;) - right up till she stops asking.
     
  4. sunflowers12

    sunflowers12 New member

    Aug 20, 2019
    3
    Thank you for your support and help with this. I will take my car and tell her repairs are being made on it. I usually drove her car up to where she is at (about an hour's drive) but now I see it only triggers her.
     
  5. sunflowers12

    sunflowers12 New member

    Aug 20, 2019
    3
    I will tell her the car is having repairs. I will drive my own car up for the visit. Thank you so much!
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.