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Hello everyone

Herbj

Registered User
Mar 6, 2015
4
I am new today. I have a Mother in law with Alzheimers. She is 91 and lives on her own. She has had this decease for about 5 years but only diagnosed last November. OH and I are going to see brother in law and his wife tonight to discuss for the first time the way forward with her care. They live about 20mins away from us and Mum but hardly see her etc,etc. So wish me luck. Don't want to get angry, just want whats best for her.
 

Kevinl

Registered User
Aug 24, 2013
4,771
Salford
Hi Herby and welcome
There's no point in anticipating bad news but it's as well to be prepared for it. I take it you're expecting they won't want to get involved, quelle surprise!
If they expect you and your husband to take it on then just say you'd rather pay a care home £750 a week (playing the inheritance evaporation card as I've come to think of it) and see if they focus a little better when they realise the cost.
Good luck, come back and tell us what happens:)
K
 

Herbj

Registered User
Mar 6, 2015
4
Thanks K. Like your thoughts. Will get back
Hi Herby and welcome
There's no point in anticipating bad news but it's as well to be prepared for it. I take it you're expecting they won't want to get involved, quelle surprise!
If they expect you and your husband to take it on then just say you'd rather pay a care home £750 a week (playing the inheritance evaporation card as I've come to think of it) and see if they focus a little better when they realise the cost.
Good luck, come back and tell us what happens:)
K
 

Emily M

Registered User
Jan 20, 2015
178
Hello Herbj

There are so many questions that come to mind - are you in contact with her social worker, has she a carer, is her accommodation fit for purpose and can it be adapted, is respite or a permanent care home being considered, what are her assets? Also, does she accept she has the disease and will she be open to suggestions?

There is also the question of Power of Attorney which is worth thinking about before things get too bad.

It is fortunate that you live close as it will make life easier. Try to agree about things as a family and try not to argue however angry you feel as it will probably only make them more resistant to helping.

It is a very stressful time and even in the most amicable families a blame culture can arise which is detrimental to everyone including mum-in-law.

Good luck

Good luck.

EM