1. jennym

    jennym Registered User

    Apr 27, 2007
    4
    Hello everyone i have joined you all to chat and share my experiences, seek advise and support and give support to others if i can, my husband has alzheimers and we a muddleing through as best we can, it is very hard at times and from time to time i really struggle, its very hard watching the man you love slip away. they are still there but they are also gone if you know what i mean. i hope to share experiences and gain strength so i can continue to support my husband.
    so hello to you all
    love jenny
     
  2. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,652
    Kent
    Welcome Jenny.

    I love your choice of words, `muddling through` describes it to a T. If we`re honest, I think that`s all we can do, as all Alzheimers sufferers are different and there are no rule books for carers.

    However, I hope you`ll get to know TP as a very supportive group of, mainly carers, and some sufferers, who are all having to cope with the changes and challenges that Alzheimers throws at us.

    Looking forwards to getting to know you.
     
  3. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Hi Jenny, welcome to TP.

    I'm also caring for my husband, who has AD, and I'm also 'muddling through'! I don't think it's possible to do anything else, as no-one knows how any one person is going to progress, and what new problems tomorrow will throw up.

    I'm sure you'll find lots of support here. Post again and tell us more about yourself.


    All the best,
     
  4. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    9,519
    Frinton-on-Sea
    Hi Jenny "Muddling through"

    think I will have a banner printed with those words, seems to sum up the world of dementia very well.

    Warm welcome to TP. Look forward to hearing more from you.
     
  5. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005
    18,972
    Derbyshire
    Hello Jenny:
    I am also caring for my husband who has Alz. - you are so right - muddling through.

    Over our evening meal my husband said 'you deserve brownie points in heaven' - simple things but it has made my day.

    I am sure you will get lots of useful information and massive support here.
    Best wishes Beckyjan
     
  6. fearful fiona

    fearful fiona Registered User

    Apr 19, 2007
    723
    London
    Hello Jenny

    I agree with all the others about muddling through. My brother and I have to cope with our mother who has dementia and we say it has been a very steep learning curve because it's something they don't teach you at school!

    Best of luck,

    Fiona
     
  7. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,652
    Kent
    Dear BeckyJan,

    Lovely to know you are appreciated.

    We`ve just had a dreadful couple of hours. My husband decided he wants to sell the house, so he can take his share and `go home`. Then he decided he would put it on my name, so I won`t chuck him out when he gets `really mental`. Then he was in tears because he realized he didn`t know what he was talking about. Then he was begging me not to put him in a home.

    Then he told me not to worry any more, as he`s all right now.

    How`s that for muddling through?
     
  8. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Sylvia, your husband's muddled, but you're most definitely not. You are coping with this amazingly well.:)

    Hope you have a good evening,

    Love and hugs,
     
  9. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    yes muddled is the key word .

    As sometime I think I am in a muddled if it was not for finding TP , I do wonder how people without the internet TP , cope in learning to undertand . this last year been the hardest with my mother medication slowing down

    Mum losing her words , getting them mix up , so just knowing reading that other carer experience this , help me understand my mother more , cream cracker are now cereal , as mum like them at around 8pm so when she ask for cereal at 8pm , I don’t have to ask her what she on about , making her feel bad that she has made a mistake .
     
  10. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    9,519
    Frinton-on-Sea
    Forgive me Sylvia when I say "been there, got the teeshirt etc", it's just to let you know you are not alone.

    This phase will pass, don't know when, but do know it will be replaced by something else that you will need to 'muddle through'

    Chin up, you do a grand job, and we are all here to give you support,
    . Love n'hugs
     
  11. bel

    bel Registered User

    Apr 26, 2006
    757
    coventry
    hi jenny i would also like to send you love and huggs

    Wtching the man you love slip away tugged at my heart strings cos thats how i feel plus they are there but not there this echos how i feel at the moment
    so sorry you are going through the same as all of us
    you will get a lot of support here
    its helped me to carry on caring for my hubby
    love bel x
     
  12. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005
    18,972
    Derbyshire
    Sylvia: hope today is better. Still muddling through I guess.

    Jenny: I hope you are getting the gist of this forum. How we all seem to make comments and help each other along. Sharing the 'muddling through'.

    Margarita: strange about the muddling up of words. My husband has always been very competent at public speaking etc. - now I see little signs of hesitation and 'muddling' of his words. Not yet quite as bad as your Mum but I think I am pre warned - it could (might; might not) get worse.

    Off to do some weeding - too nice to be indoors and David says he is so shattered he is off to have a nap in the armchair.

    Best wishes all. Beckyjan
     
  13. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,652
    Kent
    BeckyJan, today is better thank you.....so far.

    He`s gone to watch the football with our son, so I`ve had 3 hours to myself. Manchester United won, which should help [I hope]. He isn`t home yet, so they must be watching the `surgery`.

    I`ve done the ironing, but not got into the garden as I intended, I`ll do that tomorrow.

    So so far today, we haven`t muddled. :)
     
  14. jennym

    jennym Registered User

    Apr 27, 2007
    4
    Hi everyone,
    I am getting to grips with this forum stuff now and i must say you all seem like a great bunch, perhaps its the nature of our caring job that helps us keep smiling and plodding on.
    Dont get me wrong there are days when i dont cope at all and i am very tearful or angry, but i always feel guilty after i have been angry.
    what i have learnt is that i am angry at the disease not my husband who i still love dearly.
    It is a mighty job that we do, so hats off to us all.
    muddle on guys, love jennym xx
     
  15. ginny33

    ginny33 Registered User

    Dec 30, 2005
    3
    middlesbrough
    welcome jenny!


    Hi Jenny,

    Glad you have joined us. I dont come onto the site that often but when I do I have found really lovely and caring people who you can chat to, who will offer sound advice. My mam has alzheimers and she is 55. she was diagnosed when she was 52. I you need to share your experiences, ask me any questions or need advice, I will be happy to offer any help I can. My dad is my mams full time carer and I think that carers should be get paid more than the shareholders of British Gas! Their contribution and effort is not recognised as much as it should be to those who are not personally affected by Alzheimers. Sometimes you may feel as though you are peddling a bike without a chain, but just the other day, my mam said that she does not know what she would do without my dad and what a wonderful man he is. They met when they were fifteen years old and they have been wonderful parents. When mam shouts at dad and gets sometimes gets paranoid, he remembers the little things she says. Just because somebody has alzheimers, the lovely part of them is still there somewhere. xx
     
  16. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    9,519
    Frinton-on-Sea
    Hello Ginny and welcome. Thank you for such a lovely first post - so positive.

    Your dear mum was so young to have succumbed to this deadful desease, but your attitude is really good. I am sure that you are a great comfort to your dad in all of this.

    Please post again soon.
     
  17. kathm

    kathm Registered User

    Apr 26, 2007
    6
    Hello Ginny
    I agree with you, my dad has alzheimers, in many ways he is not there anymore, but from time to time he comes out with a pearler of wisdom and love and its those bits that i hang onto, and then realise my dad is still with me, he just cant always show it. Good luck to you all, i look forward to reading more of your posts.
    love and hugs Kathm:)
     
  18. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,652
    Kent
    Ginny, what a lovely thing to say. Welcome to TP, your mum and dad are lucky to have you.
     
  19. ginny33

    ginny33 Registered User

    Dec 30, 2005
    3
    middlesbrough
    Mam And Dad Have Just Visited Me

    hello everyone. I am on a days holiday today from work and mam has just left my house with dad. She is in a good frame of mind today. they brought my niece with them and mam was walking her around my living room, she is only 10 months old, she has had all of my cushions on the floor and mam was laughing her head off because she was messing my living room up! I am going to see mam tonight for our friday night ritual of a couple of glasses of wine which my mam really looks forward to! she has never really drank alcohol but she is partial to glass or two now! she always says she feels drunk after the 1st glass and then she laughs at herself for not being able to drink much! anyway better get to the shops and stock up on wine!

    speak to you all soon

    love ginny xx:)
     

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