ThanksHi Alison,
Sorry that you find yourself here, but you will find a wealth of support and useful information.
What specific concerns do you have?
Hi I have bought the esky one then I hide the transmitted in the top of a cupboard which she can’t reach. To be fair she is fairly short and I’m tall so that helpsThis thread prompted me to look at suitable key finders for my dad, who is always losing his keys at home. Surprisingly I have not found one where the transmitter can be screwed to the wall and no mobile phone is involved. If the transmitter was portable he would lose that. He can't cope with a smartphone. Anyone got any ideas
This thread prompted me to look at suitable key finders for my dad, who is always losing his keys at home. Surprisingly I have not found one where the transmitter can be screwed to the wall and no mobile phone is involved. If the transmitter was portable he would lose that. He can't cope with a smartphone. Anyone got any ideas?
Thank youDear @Pebble123
Hello and welcome to the forum. I will offer a few points to consider.
1) There is rarely an answer that ticks every box when helping a Person with Dementia (PWD). For example your mum might be more confused in her new home, but at least there you are nearby to support her. How much harder or perhaps impossible that would have been at a greater distance in a Covid19 world. Sometimes it is easy to see only the negative resulting from a decision, the positive hiding in the shadow of our thoughts waiting to be teased out.
2) You say you are unsure what to expect. Well I am several years into caring for my mum and you know what I still have that feeling at times. Please understand the caring process slowly develops, there is no precise road map, no definite time table. Best do some research, like joining this forum, perhaps a local carers group when they are able to reopen, get basics like LPAs in place if you can, etc. That said keep a sense of balance. There will be bad days ahead but not every PWD gets every part of the spectrum and the level of intensity will vary between individuals. Do not be overwhelmed in fear and anxiety over what ifs. Yes sensible planning but stay flexible, deal with issues as they begin to arise and seek help from the experience of other Carers, medical staff you brush up against on the caring road, etc. Do not darken today worrying about where you will be next year.
3) Think about yourself. You are suddenly taking a lot on in a Covid19 worrying world any way. Sit down and reflect the emotional jolt you are experiencing. In any other adventure in life no one can fully predict the future eg employment, general health, kids, etc. Caring is more unpredictable than most. If you say hold on I am not a carer sorry but your being here states that you are. Whether it is helping with shopping, arranging and getting your mum to appointments, sorting prescriptions, etc, or more intense efforts it is caring. When I was first referred to at a hospital appointment as the primary carer it felt odd, but you get use to it. Just remember you can only do it if you are in good shape physically, mentally and emotionally. Very easy to just focus on the needs of the PWD, easy but wrong. Ensure you look out for yourself as time goes on.
4) I am useless at tech so cannot give you a link. Search for the thread Compassionate Communication, it will help. Early on try and use it with an open mind. White lies, love lies, distraction, saying nevertheless not no, etc, might seem wrong but use what works. Caring is about compromise, balancing competing objectives, accepting things will gradually get worst but you will gradually get better at dealing with them, that excellence is not required that goof enough will do, that uncomfortable, challenging, anxious moments will happen as the new normal, so just greet them as new companions in your life but not as dominant ones in your thoughts.
Hope some of the above will be of help. Most of all use this forum. I have found it very helpful. Lots of experience to draw on, from people in the know, who are not judgemental. Your finding your feet, things are uncertain, but you know what so is life without Dementia. At all times remember by helping your mum you are part of the solution not the problem. You might make genuine mistakes, get annoyed at times and regret it later. All part of the human condition, how we learn, not something to beat ourselves up about. Good luck with the future, an unknown country for which there is no map.
Thank youDear @Pebble123
Hello and welcome to the forum. I will offer a few points to consider.
1) There is rarely an answer that ticks every box when helping a Person with Dementia (PWD). For example your mum might be more confused in her new home, but at least there you are nearby to support her. How much harder or perhaps impossible that would have been at a greater distance in a Covid19 world. Sometimes it is easy to see only the negative resulting from a decision, the positive hiding in the shadow of our thoughts waiting to be teased out.
2) You say you are unsure what to expect. Well I am several years into caring for my mum and you know what I still have that feeling at times. Please understand the caring process slowly develops, there is no precise road map, no definite time table. Best do some research, like joining this forum, perhaps a local carers group when they are able to reopen, get basics like LPAs in place if you can, etc. That said keep a sense of balance. There will be bad days ahead but not every PWD gets every part of the spectrum and the level of intensity will vary between individuals. Do not be overwhelmed in fear and anxiety over what ifs. Yes sensible planning but stay flexible, deal with issues as they begin to arise and seek help from the experience of other Carers, medical staff you brush up against on the caring road, etc. Do not darken today worrying about where you will be next year.
3) Think about yourself. You are suddenly taking a lot on in a Covid19 worrying world any way. Sit down and reflect the emotional jolt you are experiencing. In any other adventure in life no one can fully predict the future eg employment, general health, kids, etc. Caring is more unpredictable than most. If you say hold on I am not a carer sorry but your being here states that you are. Whether it is helping with shopping, arranging and getting your mum to appointments, sorting prescriptions, etc, or more intense efforts it is caring. When I was first referred to at a hospital appointment as the primary carer it felt odd, but you get use to it. Just remember you can only do it if you are in good shape physically, mentally and emotionally. Very easy to just focus on the needs of the PWD, easy but wrong. Ensure you look out for yourself as time goes on.
4) I am useless at tech so cannot give you a link. Search for the thread Compassionate Communication, it will help. Early on try and use it with an open mind. White lies, love lies, distraction, saying nevertheless not no, etc, might seem wrong but use what works. Caring is about compromise, balancing competing objectives, accepting things will gradually get worst but you will gradually get better at dealing with them, that excellence is not required that goof enough will do, that uncomfortable, challenging, anxious moments will happen as the new normal, so just greet them as new companions in your life but not as dominant ones in your thoughts.
Hope some of the above will be of help. Most of all use this forum. I have found it very helpful. Lots of experience to draw on, from people in the know, who are not judgemental. Your finding your feet, things are uncertain, but you know what so is life without Dementia. At all times remember by helping your mum you are part of the solution not the problem. You might make genuine mistakes, get annoyed at times and regret it later. All part of the human condition, how we learn, not something to beat ourselves up about. Good luck with the future, an unknown country for which there is no map.