Hello everyone, new here and need advice

[bakermaker]

Hello,

My 85 year old father has just received a diagnosis of vascular dementia and it has left me quite shellshocked. He has suffered no end of health problems over the years, including cancer and heart problems, and to get this diagnosis now just seems the cruellest thing. I could have coped (perhaps) if one of his old illnesses had cropped up again but am struggling with this.

He seems to have weeks when he goes seriously downhill and then, out of the blue, he is almost back to his old self. I live near to my dad but I also have an autistic 21 year old son so the pressure is really on. Is it normal to have ups and downs like this? What can I expect? We have a brilliant GP but I am desperate to talk to people who are going through it.

Thanks.

 

[fizzie]

Hi there
You will get lots of support on here. It is also worth going to your local carers cafe - ours is great - cup of coffee, chat and lots of info - it was my lifeline xx

 

[ellejay]

Hi Bakermaker & welcome I'm sorry this diagnosis has come along to knock you sideways.

When my mum was first diagnosed with VasD (about 8 yrs ago now) she did wrong foot us a lot. She , too, would be really confused & muddled & just when you thought you'd got the hang of it, she'd be back to her self.

It did make it difficult in that one day you could agree that the stuffed dog was real & the next she was calling you all kinds of stupid " It's a TOY"

They say that with VasD you get plateaus where all stays pretty level for a while & then dips .

My mum is 94 now & has been in a CH since 2011.

Do keep posting, there's always someone around

Take care

Lin x

 

[bakermaker]

Hi Bakermaker & welcome I'm sorry this diagnosis has come along to knock you sideways.

When my mum was first diagnosed with VasD (about 8 yrs ago now) she did wrong foot us a lot. She , too, would be really confused & muddled & just when you thought you'd got the hang of it, she'd be back to her self.

It did make it difficult in that one day you could agree that the stuffed dog was real & the next she was calling you all kinds of stupid " It's a TOY"

They say that with VasD you get plateaus where all stays pretty level for a while & then dips .

My mum is 94 now & has been in a CH since 2011.

Do keep posting, there's always someone around

Take care

Lin x

Wow, that`s a long time Lin. What was your mum`s general health like when she was diagnosed? We`ve looked at care homes (with the future in mind) but I don`t think we`re quite at that stage yet, my dad is still quite able but very forgetful. He keeps taking the vacuum cleaner apart though (harmless but very annoying) and he can`t remember doing it. And he loses something EVERY day and blames someone else. I could go on and on but I won`t. Slightly scared. We`re also in the process of finding a placement for my son for when he finishes college next year, so this has come at the worst possible time. But I daresay there`s never a good time.

Thanks

 

[nae sporran]

Evening Bakermaker. Sorry your dad has this horrible diagnosis on top of his other problems and your son's autism.
OH was diagnosed with Vascular D about 4 and a half years ago, but the first year or so we didn't notice any major difference. She did seem to be taking a bit longer to recover from her stroke than from the first one, but most days she was fine. That may not be typical, so its all I have on the ups and downs She has diabetes, irregular heartbeat and lymphedema. Trying to remind her of that and the need to take meds can be stressful, so you may have some similar problems with your dad.
You are in the right place for useful info and help, so will wish you all the best.