Hello and some advice please.

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by Ebee, Oct 19, 2007.

  1. Ebee

    Ebee Registered User

    Oct 19, 2007
    3
    South
    Hello All!
    I have a Great Aunt who has recently been diagnosed with A.D. She is 80 years old.
    She has always been held very closely within the circle of the family and we have now 'lost' her (well that's how it feels, and i really 'miss her').

    We, as a family are now going through the 'hoops' to get her into a care home, but day by day she is getting worse.
    As a family we all live at least 1.5 hours away from her, she is a widow, never had any children and there is no one in her area to look after her and watch her, we have a cleaner once a week for her and her meals delivered. Her neighbour is very good,(she holds a key to my Aunts house, to let her in when she's forgotten hers, she will inform us of problems as they arise - normally on a daily basis) but she is expressing her worry about the situation and doesn't really want the 'responsibility'(which as a family we totally understand).

    My Aunt is now wondering, she has been seen nearly 4 miles from her house (on that occassion she was picked up by a neighbour's daughter and taken back home). She will not eat her meal on wheels dinners, she is often verbally agressive to my parents and talks about 'people' living in her house with her (she lives on her own). We are finding all of this very distressing. It is starting to take it's toll on my parents, with the worry and gilt that they feel, as they try to understand and deal with the ever occuring problems.

    I suppose i'm really looking for anyone who can give us some idea about how long it takes to get someone into a care home, after an assessment. We have been told that she does not warrant multi displinary team intervention, that Social Services will 'look into it',but we feel that for every door that we try to push open and every hoop that we jump through we come to a dead end.
    We thought that when her assessment was done by a consultant and it was indicated that she need care urgently that things would be sorted out 'within the system' and we would be informed of a placement, but nothing has happened and we have been told by the hospital that her file has now been closed, no reason given, just 'closed'.

    ANY advice would be greatly received, Should we be doing more? Should we be 'pushing' or 'demanding'? We really are at an all time low, without a light at the end of the tunnel.

    Please don't think that we are just trying to get our Aunt into a home to get rid of a 'problem', if anything we want it for HER safety as her ability to understand has gone.


    Thank You for your time in reading my post.
     
  2. dave b

    dave b Registered User

    Nov 21, 2006
    63
    staffs
    Ebee,what the hell is the locall ss doing?
    i'm not the best one in the world to give you answers,
    but if your gt aunt is 80 why no help?
    & you all live that far away they should know of her at least.
    you will get loads more help than i can give from tp
    good luck
    dave x
     
  3. Cate

    Cate Registered User

    Jul 2, 2006
    1,370
    Newport, Gwent
    #3 Cate, Oct 20, 2007
    Last edited: Oct 20, 2007
    Hi Ebee

    Oh my goodness, what a mess. In your situation my first call would be to the Consultant, give an update on your Aunts wandering and her ever increasing 'risk'. In light of her aggression and 'hearing voices' she could need/or have changed medication. Make an appointment to see the Consultant again. Symptoms of this dreadful disease change, and these need to be addressed as and when. Has she been assigned a Community Psychiatric Nurse, if not, request one.

    Your next phone call shoud be to Social Services, if your Aunt has not been allocated a named Social Worker, ask for the duty Social Worker as state very firmly that your Aunt is at great risk. Get the name of her person you spoke to, and follow up your phone call with a letter (keep a copy).

    The next call should be to your Aunts GP, again state your grave concerns for her safety, and ask that he/she write to Social Services supporting the need for Aunts immediate placement because she is at risk.

    Sadly you have to keep on top of this, I would suggest with daily calls, its a sad fact of life that with each emergency that comes in, your case gets further towards the bottom of the pile.

    I would also investigate nursing homes yourself. Left to Social Services your Aunt may be placed somewhere you would not wish her to be. Once you find a suitable home, make sure she is placed on their waiting list, in light of the emergency with no 'local' back up, I would put her on as many waiting lists that are suitable for her.

    Funding, you also need to look into this aspect for your Aunt, if she owns her own home, this does complicate things a little. Do have a read of all the applicable fact sheets on this site.

    I appreciate this may seem a huge task, but once you get the right people on board, and keep chasing you should see the results.

    In the meantime, I would suggest that Aunt needs carers checking on her a couple of times a day, to make sure she is safe and to check to is eating. You could try and get her into a day centre a couple of days a week, which would help in the meantime. I would also contact your Aunts local AD Society, they will help you with any other local support networks such as Crossroads etc.,

    Please keep in touch.

    Cate
     
  4. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Hi Ebee

    What a worrying situation. It really is appalling that your g-aunt is being left in this state with the authorities washing their hands of her.

    Cate has given you excellent advice, and I've nothing really to add. But as she says, you have to keep pushing.

    One other thought -- if all the family is so far away, would it be possible for you to find her a NH closer to you? Complicated if it's a different LA, but it can be done. If you're in the same LA, I'd definitely consider it.

    Good luck, and let us know how you get on.
     
  5. Cate

    Cate Registered User

    Jul 2, 2006
    1,370
    Newport, Gwent
    Hazel you have an excellent point, and a great reason for moving g-Aunt from that dreadful place.

    We moved mum from her LA area to mine to be near me. It was actually quite easy. You simply have to get the SW to go along to your chosen NH and do an assessment on suitability. Once that new home is on their list its plain sailing. It now also means if anyone from mums area wants to move to this one, the home is already 'on their books' so to speak. The original area is still responsible for funding, well they will be when mums money runs out:D
     
  6. Ebee

    Ebee Registered User

    Oct 19, 2007
    3
    South
    Thank You Cate and Skye for your advice.

    My Great Aunt has got a Social worker assigned to her, she gave us some help regarding practcal matters ie get a key press, meals on wheels, power of attorney (done all of these) etc, but she says that because my Aunt was assessed by the consultant, the consultants team should take on her case. It was the consultants team that said my Aunt does not warrant 'Multi Dissaplinary Input' including a CPN and would be closing her case. The Social worker has said she 'will look into it'??!!! That's it - no more, no less.

    With regard to the Care homes - is it ok for us to contact homes. Can we, if we find one that we like can we ask for my Aunts name to be put down on a waiting list? We don't want to 'tred' on peoples toes and make a terrible situation even worse by 'jumping the gun'. With regard to funding, I think that after reading the information on this site, she will have to be funded. Does this cause problems?

    I'm sorry if we seem to so badly informed, but the truth of the matter is, we have never had anyone in the family before that has ever suffered like this and we are finding the lack of offical information that we have been given somewhat 'underwhelming'.
    We, as a family usually sort out problems for ourselves, and we have never had a situation where we have to ask for 'outside help' from organisations such as Social Services. This is a situation i wouldn't wish on my worst enemy!!

    Many Thanks for any advice. Ebee
     
  7. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Hi, I think SS have neen very remiss in all this. Yes, the NHS decide on medication, CPN allocation, etc, but 'care in the community', ie virtually everything else, is controlled by SS, including NH placements. It g-aunt is not on dementia medication, and has no other medical problems, NHS will close her file.

    You need to ring SS first thing on Monday and stress that g-aunt is at risk. Demand an emergency assessment to discuss NH placement.

    There's nothing to stop you looking at NHs, anyone can go in and ask to be shown round. Ask for a brochure, including latest inspection report, price list, and whether there are any vacant rooms. If not, how long is the waiting list? Don't ring and make an appointment, just go. You get a better picture that way.

    You won't be able to agree to anything until you get the assessment, but at least you'll have an idea what's available.

    Don't worry about being new to this, we all were! My husband went into a HN only a fortnight ago, so I've just been through it all, as have several others. Any questions, just ask.

    Good luck,
     
  8. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    #8 Margarita, Oct 20, 2007
    Last edited: Oct 20, 2007
    That what they told me also . So all support we get is from Social services

    I had to put the ball into they corner , as my social worker is my mother social worker, so respected that my did not want to go into Care home , so I had to Say OK give me more support at home to look after my mother at home and I'll look after her , if not she have to go in care home, after saying that they finally got the services rolling in to support me


    Only issue I can foresee happening for your Great Aunt as she be funned by social services is if Great Aunt says to social worker she does not want to go in to care home , they respected her wishes and won't pay for care home of your choice , unless she section.

    PS




    The sad truth is as you live far away from great Aunt , if she won't say she wants to go in to care home . they SW won't force her , they set up a support to keep her at home , but till something happen that they SW think that she can't manage at home , they keep her at home till they think she ready for care home


    because they are funding care home , you have to have a strong case , , proof from police when they pick her up when she wondering street, also from letter from doctor in how she in danger to herself at home alone
     
  9. Cate

    Cate Registered User

    Jul 2, 2006
    1,370
    Newport, Gwent
    Hi Elbee

    There is nothing stopping you from looking around some NH, particularly in your own area if that is where you would like g-Aunt to live in the future. Hazel is right, dont make an appointment, just turn up, but they are usually greatful if you avoid meal times when it can be a tat hectic. If you are interested in any, put g-aunt on their waiting list, but dont sign anything, just voice your 'serious' interest. If you find a good NH, start chasing Social Serivices 10 fold. I would still keep on at them to get some further help in the meantime.

    You should also go back to the Consultant, ask for a re assessment, this disease is like shifting sand, things change, and the Consultant, I'm sure, will know this.

    Keep in touch, keep asking your questions, thats how we all learnt how to get things done, and keep sane............ well most of the time.......... through the advice and support of our friends here.

    Love

    Cate xx
     
  10. Ebee

    Ebee Registered User

    Oct 19, 2007
    3
    South
    Thank You so much for all of the advice.

    Could i just clarify somthing? It's to do with Care Homes (again!).

    Do all Care Homes take people if they are funded by the state and not funding it themselves, is this somthing that we should point out when we go and visit them?? We have compiled a list of Care homes using the Alzheimers web link in all the areas that the family live - so we hope we will find somewhere.

    We have had a 'family meeting' this afternoon and i have shown them all of the advice that had been given.
    Half way through we had a telephone call from my G- Aunts neighbour. My G - Aunt was trying to board a bus, not knowing where it was going but assuming it would take her to see her sister (her sister died 2 years ago). She was 'rescued' by another neighbour who realised that there was an obvious problem and walked my G- Aunt back to her house, she didn't have her key, so went to her next door neighbour who let her in., and then contacted us. This phone call left my Dad and sister rushing off to my G-Aunts and me with my very distressed Mum.
    When my Dad and Sister got to my G-Aunt's house, she announced that she hadn't been out at all, but it was nice of them to pop in, but she had to get on because my Uncle would be in from work soon, so could they leave! (My G-Uncle died years ago)

    First thing Monday i will be on the phone to Social Services. We really do need help.

    We are all dreding what tomorrow might bring.
    I am so sorry, but it's actually nice to get messages from other people who understand how desperate we are.
    Ebee.
     
  11. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Most care homes now take both private an LA funded residents. LAs used to have their own homes, where people were normally transferred after a hospital stay, but as far as I know most of those have been closed down (they were awful!), and most are now run by large companies, though some are privately owned.

    They may ask you if your g-aunt will be LA or privately funded, privately funded residents usually pay more, but if they have a room free they won't turn you down.

    It really does sound as if this is going to be the best option for your g-aunt.
     
  12. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,418
    Your profile indicates that you are somewhere in the South. This might (not necessarily, but might) mean that you may find statistically more homes that do not accept LA funded residents than you might in other areas of the country. Higher population density and higher property prices might mean there are more candidates who are self-funded and thus more homes who do not need to take LA funded residents. On the other hand, there should be more homes, period
     

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