Hi everyone
I've been lurking for a couple of weeks but I've plucked up the courage to post after a particular part of my Mum's AD journey really upset me today. Its a small thing compared to what some of you are going through, but I think its something that other people dealing with dementia can understand so I want to put it out there.
My Mum is 80 was diagnosed AD a couple of weeks ago by a consultant neurologist. I organised the referral as she was having a lot of falls and they couldn't pinpoint the source. We are now waiting for a memory clinic appointment on 24th. Until the diagnosis, my Dad (74) was in denial, but now we are all trying to accept it, he is being proactive with arranging POA and thinking about downsizing from their rather large house. Mum remains firmly in denial and thinks we are all being horrible to her and "trying to make her think she is going mad".
I'm an old only child with a 9 year old daughter. I live very close to my parents and we have always seen them 5 or 6 times a week, but my daughter is understandably scared of the changes in her nanny so I've tried to cut this down to 3-4 times a week until she can get used to the "new normal". I still phone my Mum every day in the evening, but the conversations are increasingly difficult. She won't let me arrange our get togethers with my Dad because she'd feel undermined somehow - I can't even speak to my Dad on the phone without her insisting its on loud speaker so that we "can't talk about her behind her back" (we just speak while she's napping instead).
So, today is my wedding anniversary and I received a card from my parents - it was the first time in my 38 years that Mum signed a card with their names instead of "Mum and Dad". Dad says she wasn't sure who the card was for as she was writing it no matter how many times he reminded her. I've found that the most difficult thing to deal with so far.
We haven't had the closest relationship for the last few years, despite being really close when I was younger, but I now feel that although she is still there, I've already lost my Mum.
I'm so glad to have found this forum, and sorry for the long, rambling post...
I've been lurking for a couple of weeks but I've plucked up the courage to post after a particular part of my Mum's AD journey really upset me today. Its a small thing compared to what some of you are going through, but I think its something that other people dealing with dementia can understand so I want to put it out there.
My Mum is 80 was diagnosed AD a couple of weeks ago by a consultant neurologist. I organised the referral as she was having a lot of falls and they couldn't pinpoint the source. We are now waiting for a memory clinic appointment on 24th. Until the diagnosis, my Dad (74) was in denial, but now we are all trying to accept it, he is being proactive with arranging POA and thinking about downsizing from their rather large house. Mum remains firmly in denial and thinks we are all being horrible to her and "trying to make her think she is going mad".
I'm an old only child with a 9 year old daughter. I live very close to my parents and we have always seen them 5 or 6 times a week, but my daughter is understandably scared of the changes in her nanny so I've tried to cut this down to 3-4 times a week until she can get used to the "new normal". I still phone my Mum every day in the evening, but the conversations are increasingly difficult. She won't let me arrange our get togethers with my Dad because she'd feel undermined somehow - I can't even speak to my Dad on the phone without her insisting its on loud speaker so that we "can't talk about her behind her back" (we just speak while she's napping instead).
So, today is my wedding anniversary and I received a card from my parents - it was the first time in my 38 years that Mum signed a card with their names instead of "Mum and Dad". Dad says she wasn't sure who the card was for as she was writing it no matter how many times he reminded her. I've found that the most difficult thing to deal with so far.
We haven't had the closest relationship for the last few years, despite being really close when I was younger, but I now feel that although she is still there, I've already lost my Mum.
I'm so glad to have found this forum, and sorry for the long, rambling post...